Running wild on customers, chefs, owners and managers since 1997. I bring to you, The Insane Waiter. What do bring to your table? A crisp bottle of San Pellegrino ? Perhaps a lovely seared Sashimi Tuna? Start off with a wonderful bottle from Tuscany perhaps? Why I'll be more than happy to bring you your White Zinfandel and Chicken Caesar. No you can't order the mac and cheese off the kids menu and sorry no, we don't serve cheese sticks....
Friday, January 06, 2006
Asinine Question of the day
"Folks, would you carer for any soup or salad before your entrees tonight? I asked.
When I was in high school, my speech team would go on overnight trips. Every year, we would go to Olive Garden. When they would ask "Soup or salad?" (which they always do) we would just say "Yes." Each one of us. Endless hilarity.
Stumbled across your blog and haven't been able to quit reading. Holy shit. How can you make me laugh so hard AND feel sorry for you at the same time?!
Thank God I'm not the only one who that's happened to. I get that at least once a week -- probably once a shift if I thought hard enough. I thought it was me with a huge speech impediment....thank God it's not me! Take care xo A.
Anonymous, be brave and post your name..are you scared of retribution for the mean things you say on here or something? At least I say what I want and I don't give a damn. Sheesh. Unnecessary meanness really pisses me off.
The concept of a "super salad" is not that strange on the same planet as the fucking "frappucino".
Why don't you say "salad or soup" instead? I've been confused by the question before, and I can tell you that I did not feel nearly as stupid as my server sounded reflexively rattling off the option.
Does Insane have a book deal yet? Rob from Club Life got a contract with Harper Collins. You'd think any writer half as prolific as this guy would have one in the bag.
I got so bored waiting for a new Insane post that I read through Sondra's entire blog - you are definitely an interesting person. So Sondra I apologize for any nasty comments I've made, and maybe I will leave a comment over at your place sometime.
I had an elderly gentleman respond the same way one time. However, he was hard of hearing so it took his wife and I a couple of minutes to explain that I said "soup OR salad".
When I was in high school, my speech team would go on overnight trips. Every year, we would go to Olive Garden. When they would ask "Soup or salad?" (which they always do) we would just say "Yes." Each one of us. Endless hilarity.
ReplyDeleteStumbled across your blog and haven't been able to quit reading. Holy shit. How can you make me laugh so hard AND feel sorry for you at the same time?!
ReplyDeleteOh. My. GAWD. I have heard that a handful of times.
ReplyDeleteLast week, I asked one of my tables if I could get them anything else. They said, "OK."
And they were SERIOUS, unlike homeboy from the Olive Garden up above. LOL
This blog is amazing. How do you find the time to write down all of this?
ReplyDeleteActually, it sounds to me like Mr. Waiter needs to learn to ennunciate, and not blame his customers for his shortcomings.
ReplyDeleteActually, it seems to me anonymous above needs to learn how to spell.
ReplyDeleteActually, the comments here aren't as good as the ones at waitrrant.
ReplyDeleteActually, the website is Waiterrant.net. No need to compare comments - this isn't a size contest.
ReplyDeleteYup, I've gotten that one all the time...
ReplyDeleteI've trained myself to say "Would you like a bowl of soup or a side salad with that?"
Most of the customers are only half-listening, anyway.
Thank God I'm not the only one who that's happened to. I get that at least once a week -- probably once a shift if I thought hard enough. I thought it was me with a huge speech impediment....thank God it's not me!
ReplyDeleteTake care
xo
A.
salad or soup - easy.
ReplyDeleteNephew Dude:
ReplyDeleteHas a customer ever said to you, when ordering their entree:
"I'll have the Sheep Herder's Special. A leg of lamb and a piece of you."
Love,
Uncle R.
i used to be a server and i had to ask that same question and got the same reply. do you work for a chain restaurant? I did and it blew. :)
ReplyDeleteHAHAHAHAHAHA!! Insane! That was a funny one. Thank God I've never responded with that one.
ReplyDelete"Supersalad!"
ReplyDeleteHAHAHAHAHAHAHA that is so funny!
"Supersalad!"
HAHAHAHAHA I can't believe how funny that is!
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
"Suuuuupersalad"
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!
Oh my god that is insane!!!!
HAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!
A salad once in a while wouldn't kill Sondra.
ReplyDeleteIt's pathetic how some people try to spread their misery. Did that make you feel better?
ReplyDeleteIt's even better when they request "grond pepper"!
ReplyDeleteJust bored - is this blog officially dead yet?
ReplyDeleteactually... there is such thing as a SouperSalad restaurant. it sucks.
ReplyDeleteAnonymous, be brave and post your name..are you scared of retribution for the mean things you say on here or something? At least I say what I want and I don't give a damn. Sheesh. Unnecessary meanness really pisses me off.
ReplyDeleteOkay, servers share half the blame for this one.
ReplyDeleteWhat they USUALLY say is:
"Would you like the soup or salad?"
And they say it very quickly.
The concept of a "super salad" is not that strange on the same planet as the fucking "frappucino".
Why don't you say "salad or soup" instead? I've been confused by the question before, and I can tell you that I did not feel nearly as stupid as my server sounded reflexively rattling off the option.
Sondra did you eat the Insane Waiter? Damn! I knew that would happen eventually...oh and my name really is anonymous.
ReplyDeleteZzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz
ReplyDeleteDoes Insane have a book deal yet? Rob from Club Life got a contract with Harper Collins. You'd think any writer half as prolific as this guy would have one in the bag.
ReplyDeleteDear Sondra,
ReplyDeleteYou are hot - I think I'm getting wood.
Sheesh!
I got so bored waiting for a new Insane post that I read through Sondra's entire blog - you are definitely an interesting person. So Sondra I apologize for any nasty comments I've made, and maybe I will leave a comment over at your place sometime.
ReplyDeleteIt's very good reading actually. Keep writing!
ReplyDeleteThanks, bad manager. All is well :)
ReplyDelete"You'd think any writer half as prolific as this guy would have one in the bag."
ReplyDeleteQuantity does not equate to quality.
It's called sarcasm. Look it up on Google.
ReplyDeleteI had an elderly gentleman respond the same way one time. However, he was hard of hearing so it took his wife and I a couple of minutes to explain that I said "soup OR salad".
ReplyDelete