The Insane Waiter

Running wild on customers, chefs, owners and managers since 1997. I bring to you, The Insane Waiter. What do bring to your table? A crisp bottle of San Pellegrino ? Perhaps a lovely seared Sashimi Tuna? Start off with a wonderful bottle from Tuscany perhaps? Why I'll be more than happy to bring you your White Zinfandel and Chicken Caesar. No you can't order the mac and cheese off the kids menu and sorry no, we don't serve cheese sticks....

Tuesday, August 09, 2005

White zinfandel, the most wretched of wines?

If you haven't seen it yet here's a link to a glossary of terms only know to us servers.

Now on to white zin, It is indeed the worst possible wine, perhaps tied with its inbred cousin Lambrusco.

Now before all you ladies (and the occasional gentlemen) that love white zin and protest that you will order what you like, and we should accept it understand this.

You can order what you like...

But in this country I can think of you how I like, and have my own opinion of your tastes.

Its like going to a great restaurant and ordering Mac & Cheese off the kids menu, or perhaps a cheeseburger with pommes frittes!!

Now I certainly will get you what you want.

But my advise is to live a little, if you want to eat like a kindergartener or drink wine suitable for high school teenage girls at their first kegger, you with be treated accordingly.

Here is a great definition from the aforementioned glossary:

White Zinfandel - A horrifying abuse of the greatest of Californians indigenous grapes (at least they the experts tell us it's native this week.) Oenology aside, it is a blatant and unforgivable rape of red wine. White Zinfandel is the calling card of the completely uninitiated diner. The individual "enjoying" this beverage will most certainly have some sort of steamed fish with no starch and a myriad of vegetable substitutions, or even worse, a grilled-chicken-Caesar salad. By ordering "White Zin" you are FORCING your server to abandon all hope of a tip and therefore dooming yourself to mediocre (at best) service. Spare yourself the agony and order a Coke. At least that way we can assume you have been through rehab or something.


At 12:14 AM , Anonymous jb said...

Completely agree. Ordering White Zin is like ordering a prime filet well-done. Sure, you can do that if you want, but with so many better choices available, who would? An idiot.

At 7:54 PM , Anonymous Anonymous said...

who are any of you to judge someone elses tastes? If I like white zin, good for me....and if ya'll don't, then i'm sorry, but please don't attack others preferences.

At 1:35 PM , Anonymous Anonymous said...

Reply to jb.......................I love wine. I also love prime filet. Both have to be a certain standard to please my taste. But I dont really give a rats behind if the guy at the next table has his or her filet cremated and washes it down with meths so long as it makes the person happy. Why not keep your nose out.Those 'idiots' may just as well believe you are a snob. Maybe you will help make crap wine sales increase and leave the good stuff for those who want it.

At 10:34 AM , Anonymous Anonymous said...

You're an ass.

At 9:21 AM , Anonymous Anonymous said...

Classic, wine zin is for homeless people. All I see is bums drinking white zin franzia... makes me sick

At 9:29 AM , Anonymous Anonymous said...

Great input there.


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