The Insane Waiter

Running wild on customers, chefs, owners and managers since 1997. I bring to you, The Insane Waiter. What do bring to your table? A crisp bottle of San Pellegrino ? Perhaps a lovely seared Sashimi Tuna? Start off with a wonderful bottle from Tuscany perhaps? Why I'll be more than happy to bring you your White Zinfandel and Chicken Caesar. No you can't order the mac and cheese off the kids menu and sorry no, we don't serve cheese sticks....

Sunday, August 21, 2005

The Little Things... Pt. 1

Well friends I join you again after a hard working weekend.

I try to post a couple times a week, and usually that post is pretty long.

In between them when I have a few minutes I've decided to do a mini-column...

The little things.

After all it is the little things that count in life, they can make you smile, make your day...

Or just piss you off...

So here we go!

Saturday night, middle of the rush and getting tossed not only in the weeds but the bushes.

I get a family of four, not a good thing usually with smaller children in the group.

They were not the problem however, the adults were.

First off, "Yah, don't you have any sandwiches??"

Damn, I'm gonna have to say no, and I can tell he doesn't want to actually spend money here, well goodbye tip...

"I'm sorry sir but only at lunch.."

A look of mild anger appears on his face, "why not??"

"Because Sir we are a dinner establishment," I say firmly, no room to maneuver for him.

I love saying no to the customers at times, and this is one of them.

Well they order and I'm silly busy.

About five minutes pass and I stop by to see if they need any drinks.

Perfect timing, he has about two drinks left in his beer.

As I enquire about his order he rolls his eyes at me, I can't believe it.

"Ya are you supposed to be the on helping me?"

He can't even be bothered to remember who I am.

"Yes sir?"

"Well who was that who just here?"

I look over, its my server assistant, and I inform him so...

"Well I tried to order from him and he said no."

The kids 17, he can't deliver drinks.

"And where have you been, we've been waiting..."

Oh boy, like I've been out back getting stoned with the dishwashers...

"Sir I'm very busy, I was taking and order and you're not my only table."

I can't believe that just came out of my mouth.

There is a look of shock on his face, his server has balls, and he can't believe it.

Hell neither can, most of the time I apologize for not being there.

This time I don't.

I'm tired of rolling over...

He starts mumbling something about when his food is coming out.

"Sir its only been five minutes, we're busy, it will get here when it gets here."

"I'll be right back with your beer."

The rest of the dinner goes great, the wife is very nice and the children well behaved.

Food is great, the kids say please and thank you for refills and all is well in the world.

The gentleman begrudgingly admits his dinner is excellent, they pay and leave...

18%, better than I would have thought...

And all is right in the my world.


At 3:52 PM , Blogger Denise said...

Gotta show 'em who's in control here, that's my motto. my experience it's pretty across the board that a guest won't be able to tell you if he was waited in by a guy or girl, let alone being able to just spot you as an individual.

At 11:52 PM , Anonymous Anonymous said...

haha something like this happened to me the other day
you know how you get that late teens early 20's girl that speaks in that snotty little nasally voice?
yeah, she was at my table and getting all crapalicious
she had made several demands in her annoying voice looking down her finely sculpted nose all cozy in her ivy league college sweat shirt
and i snapped into my snotty little nasal voice, as soon as i did it, there was no mistaking that i had done it... my heart stopped i went in to get the check and was happy that they would be leaving soon (and i would have some new and improved humans)
surprisingly, i got 25%....maybe i should mouth off more often

At 7:29 AM , Blogger Kathleen said...

When I hear of such behavior I always wonder what their mothers would say if they could see them acting so rudely.


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