The Insane Waiter

Running wild on customers, chefs, owners and managers since 1997. I bring to you, The Insane Waiter. What do bring to your table? A crisp bottle of San Pellegrino ? Perhaps a lovely seared Sashimi Tuna? Start off with a wonderful bottle from Tuscany perhaps? Why I'll be more than happy to bring you your White Zinfandel and Chicken Caesar. No you can't order the mac and cheese off the kids menu and sorry no, we don't serve cheese sticks....

Thursday, August 11, 2005

Isn't White Zin Supposed to be...White?

I once was privy to a disturbingly funny exchange between guests in my restaurant.

One of the ladies ordered white zin, with a half order of a salad (imagine that), probably with ranch on the side, but memory fails me at this point.

Well I delivered her tasty beverage and when walking past a moment later heard the following...

A discussion on why her white wine wasn't white, it was red..

I went up to the table to inquire what the issue was.

"Sir my friends ine isn't white it's reddish pink, this is a red wine." Her friend said with the certainty of a sommelier.

Ahhh, the lass's is embarrassed to ask for herself I think.

"No ma'am, that's white zinfandel"

"Well why is it red then?? White Zin is a White wine."

I explain patient that the pink hue comes from a red grape that has its skin removed during the wine production...

I was greeted by a look of puzzlement, why she, the customer that is always right, was wrong.

"Well isn't it sometimes white??" She quipped, after all she is an educated woman, I'm a lowly server.



I see the fear in her eyes, she knows I am right.

"Perhaps a Pinot Grigio would be more what you would enjoy Ma'am," I offer diplomatically.

I see the certainty returning to her face...

"Yes I think that's what I really wanted to order."

Ya, I'm quite sure, way to fight your own battles lady.

They finish up their dinner and head to the door...

I pick up the check, I don't remember the amount, one split salad and 3 glasses Pinot?

(Three glasses, one split between the two later, God forbid they catch half a buzz and have some fun, anyways...)

My guess $22.00

All I remember was the percentage,


Damn, I wish I would have made her feel more inept in front of her friend, well that's how the game is played

Its called acting, covering up ones true personality and thoughts with a facade...

As I am thinking these thoughts I am almost tempted to drink the wine she sent back, its the afternoon and no ones in the place, I'm just gonna toss it...

I recoil in disgust, striking the thought from my mind.

This is how the devil tempted Eve, it won't work twice, I opt for a Stoli Arnold Palmer instead.

You kids can keep your White Zin!


At 7:54 PM , Blogger p. said...

ack! this reminds me of my table waiting days. and quite frankly, those days are best forgotten. it made me quite ill on humanity.

great post!


At 4:51 PM , Anonymous Anonymous said...

Ack! When you meet psuedo intellectuals with the condescending attitude of one who knows enough about wine to keep his job, everyone's a casualty. Whatever restaurant you work at, i want to avoid it

At 12:09 PM , Blogger indigowhite said...

"Well isn't it sometimes white??" She quipped, after all she is an educated woman, I'm a lowly server. / "No" / "Never?" / I see the fear in her eyes, she knows I am right. -- Being a bartender, I know exactly what you are talking about! Middle class bitches thinking they know everything. I hate them so bad.

At 6:53 PM , Anonymous BMichael27 said...

omg. i thought those things only happened in ohio. The other night this snooty guy (obviously trying to impress the girl he was with)asked me what I thought was a nice bottle of red on our menu...after I told him my thoughts he went with a completely different wine. THEN...he orders our rock shrimp and peppers appetizer which has a VERY detailed description ("rock shrimp, flash-fried w/cherry peppers..blahblahblah"). I bring it out and within a few minutes i
I'm passing by the table to see how it is.

"Waiter, this isnt what I ordered! You brought me something else!!"

"No sir, thats the rock shrimp appetizer"

"Well why is it different than what it said on the menu?"

I brought the menu over, showed the description and he says nonchalantly, "Oh, I thought it was more like a green pepper with shrimp in it" ugh...MORONS


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