Points of Order
All right, now I'm going to answer the responses many of you left.
Seems there are two groups on here, servers and those who work in customer service...
And those that don't.
They don't get it...
Maybe they don't understand, some seem personally affronted by what I say.
Well I'm not going to resort to name calling or anything crude, After this post I will return to my stories and try to not be so political.
I believe a point of some critics, yes I mean you and I haven't pointed out many commentators on here, was this...
"However, I think the incentive is there also for servers to not pay taxes on most of their tips, which I think is crap (the rest of us have to pay taxes on everything we make). "
As well as,
"(come on, most don't keep exact numbers and don't claim most or all of their tips when they figure income taxes)"
The last three places I have worked at compiled my sales and automatically claimed 18% tips to the government, it didn't matter if I had a bad week or not of tips, I still had to pay taxes on my sales...
More and more corporate restaurants are doing this to avoid the IRS digging around their numbers (which are often shady), or just to get rid of the hassle.
As well as paying taxes on my earnings servers pay taxes on sales that don't garner tips.
We actually have to pay out of our own pockets for the privilege of waiting on those who stiff or leave shitty tips that don't cover our taxed tips.
Now I am not saying you have to tip for bad service, but when you don't tip a fair amount for good service we have to pay regardless.
In addition to paying taxes, under the tip credit laws our employer pays bussers, hosts, food expediters and bartenders under the minimum wage.
Servers pay them out of their own tips based on a percentage of their sales, regardless of if tables tip them fairly or not for that night.
Think its not your problem?
Who makes your drinks, seats you, sets up your dinner table and cleans up the mess you make so you don't have to?
These hard working employees.
You don't want these services by all means go to a diner, see how great the service is there.
It all relates to the amount of service that you benefit from.
You want it, you pay for it, in a fair manner.
If gratuities are added, why the hard feelings?
"If I have to, then there is no additional monies on top of that automatic charge, the waiter gets exactly what I was forced to pay and no more. "
That's how it would be every day if the system was changed.
"I went to a restaurant last night, and when the bill came, they added 15% and put it on the credit card receipt. Tip was 8.50, but I wanted to give her $10 cause she deserved it. But they decided for me and that pissed me off. I didn't change it, but we won't be going back."
That's a shitty attitude, she deserved $10 due to her good service, yet you punished her because of a restaurant's policy.
Last I checked waiters didn't make store policy...
Yet always we are held responsible and pay the penalty.
Back to the service charge, if it is applied it is for a reason, most likely store policy, I can't remember how many times a party slips me an extra $20, 30 or $50 tip on top of the stated gratuity.
A couple weeks ago I waited on a reception dinner and the host gave each of us a $100 bill as extra appreciation.
At the same extreme are those who get personally insulted, I have a few instances of those and you'll probably see them as one of my tales.
Don't get insulted and take it out on the waiter.
Any other place you go and are charged for service can you bitch and maybe take it away payment?
I
f your mechanic takes longer than you want can you only pay for parts and not service? If you go to the GAP can you justify paying your bill less the commission if the cashier isn't up to your standards? If you call your insurance company and are put on hold is that grounds for wanting a discount because you had to wait?
Just keep in mind that as much as you want to blame someone, the server has little control over most happenings in the restaurant. If a service charge is added take it with grace.
If you feel the server did a great job give them a little extra, don't withhold it because of something out of their hands.
A great quote from a commenter, "As much as I hated the tipping system (where else can you get your pay docked because the person with the money is having a bad day?) I think doing away with it would be worse."
"I'm an excellent tipper when the service is good or excellent (20 to 25% usually). However, if the service is bad (and I don't care why it's bad) I want the option of tipping much, much less."
I disagree, when I go out as long as I see my waiter or bartender busting ass they will get a great tip.It is sometimes impossible to give the best service at times, and I consider this.
If they are being lazy, rude or don't know their job its one thing. Just please be patient, it is a virtue and I know many people only think about themselves, and believe that you're the only table in the place even though they're not.
There are a thousand reasons that they can’t be all over you, the kitchen is running slow, bussers are slammed so they have to clear their own tables, maybe the hostess sat two or three other tables at the same time in their section. I just think it's ironic that the harder servers work, at times they get paid less for it.
Of course another reason could be you have a bad server or they are lazy, just recognize the difference between them and someone that is doing an admirable job under extreme duress.
A great point of view from a comment was this...
"If the kitchen screws up your meal, that is not my fault, so why should you leave me a crappy tip because of it. The fact that I am the spokesperson for your perceived anger over things I cannot control gives you the right to punish me. This is not fair. A majority of the restaurant staff will make their hourly wage having never to see your face but if they make a mistake you take it out on me. How is this fair?"
It isn't fair, I judge my service experience from the moment my ass hits the seat at my table.
Why do people take out their shit on someone that is perceived to be subservient I don't know.
It isn't the server's fault if you had to wait because you don't have a reservation.
It isn't our fault if you were sat at a less desirable table. It isn't our fault the kitchen is backed up with 100 orders and you wait for your food.
It isn't our fault that the hostess wasn’t pretty enough, the sky wasn't blue, or that you had a shitty day.
Above all it isn't my fault if your steak is over cooked, pasta cold, or lettuce wilted. It does not constitute poor service to have these things happen.
What constitutes service is how we handle these situations.
Yet we are held responsible and punished on the whim of the customer for thing out of our control and beyond the realm of service.
This is by far my favorite quote from the comments belongs to my social communist friend...
"I will also admit that I have stiffed a few tips on occasion, though I plead ignorance or financial necessity in those cases."
The answer to this is there is no excuse for ignorance.
I
n the US it is expected that to tip for service, and the tip reflects the level of service one receives...
As far as financial necessity for stiffing, you'll love this one...
If you can't afford to tip, you can't afford to go out to eat.
Simple.
Eating out is a luxury.
I work at tipped positions to make my own living, I understand that some people can't afford to go out much or tip, so don't.
Eat at home, get fast food or take out, don't waste my time.
Really, the only reason to not is if you receive abysmal service or are treated rudely...
Learn to live within your means, don't effect my income because you can't live within your own
That may sound harsh, but its true.
"I think a large part of the problem is many people just don't know how to do math to figure what 15 to 20% is."
Ah, the ignorance excuse again. It's basic math people, just that some are to lazy to do it, move the decimal one place over and double it, damn.
Or maybe you are too drunk and trying to cop a feel on your waitress to bother.
In addition here are some recent thoughts as well
"We are made to feel obligated and we should not be obligated!! I would rather get and order my own food rather than have some greedy waitperson kissing my ass for money. "
How is it greedy to want to provide a decent living for ourselves? You have the right to one why don't we?
"Getting tipped is a great racket... We are made to feel obligated and we should not be obligated!!"
You are obligated.
Otherwise get your own food and clean up your own mess.
"I would rather get and order my own food rather than have some greedy waitperson kissing my ass for money."
Please do then, I'd rather wait on people that appreciate my efforts rather than waste my time.
"Waiters are just hustlers or scammers living off of crumbs that we throw them."
That is one of the ignorant things I have ever read on this blog.
I might as well say shit like that. Doctors are quacks pushing unnecessary drugs and treatments for their benefit. Lawyers are scum and ambulance chasers. CEO's rape their employees and customers for their own gain. Office employees are prisoners of a bureaucracy that produces paperwork and no real productivity.
Harsh words and maybe a stereotype, but so is the perception of wait staff as beggars and thieves.
I am an honest hard working person, so are most waiters.
"Also, have you noticed that whenever the Server speaks of receiving a low tip, it's always because the customer was cheap? Never that the service was bad."
BWAHAHAHAHA
I am as accurate in my recollections as possible. Does that mean I haven't had an off day or at some point gave substandard service? Of course not, but chances are if I wait on you I'll bust my ass to make sure you have a great experience.
Maybe its just I wait on brats more often than I have days that I give shitty service.
"Taking a kid's tip” A large number of servers are not "KIDS" and they make more money per hour worked than most office workers. I would say a part time server at most restaurants can haul in around 30 to 50K a year (remember not full-time)!!"
Perhaps here's where the real bitterness towards servers exists, people don't think we deserve what we make because it is more than their income.
(Most servers I know are between 18 and 25, pretty much kids and young adults btw.)
Damn straight I make more than 30k and maybe you're just pissed that your job in a bureaucracy shuffling paperwork from level to level gets a much lesser reward at the end of the day.
But I'm sure when you screw up or are perceived in an unfair light by a consumer your personal pay isn't effected.
True we're not saving the world, but the part of the reason I do this is for the financial reward.
I'm damn good and work at a high end restaurant. I don't pretend to be anything more than a waiter making my way through this world, but I deserve my pay and those that I wait on get the greatest service I can muster.
One last bit of negativity from a comment post.
"Please learn how to use English. You might get better jobs, or fewer anonymous people complaining about your shitty writing! (not "you're shitting writing"!!)"
If I suck that badly don't read me.
My job is fine and I work everyday to get ahead of where I was yesterday.
I know its a huge deal that I screwed up a conjunction, seriously if you're that anal, I hate to see you in a restaurant, which is what this blog is about, not an English lesson.
Maybe I am a little bitter in this post. It seems to me the vast majority of dinners are considerate, fair, pleasant and a pleasure to wait on.
But about one table in five can't seem to think about any of this.
I can't tell them the way I feel, but I can tell you people, some of whom obviously fit into the latter category.
It does feel great to say to some of you what I can't say to my customers at work.
People like this are brats, cheap and I can't believe they treat another with disrespect and scorn when all we want is to be treated fairly and to make a fair wage.
Here are some of the things in a more positive light, quotes from people that "get it."
"You never know! I had a server just recently who was very, very sweet and nice, she knew what she was doing, and she was very efficient. Then, suddenly, her section filled up so fast she didn't have time to take a breath. I sat there and watched table after table get sat, and as a consequence, she never had the time to ask us if we needed refills on our drinks, and even if she did get the chance to ask, she had no time to fill them. (I also noticed that no one else with slower sections offered to help her.) She dropped the bill off in a rush, and I still tipped her $10 on a $16 bill because she was working her ass off."
Amen sister!
"That doesn't mean that my server has to be 100% happy all the time, but be attentive, have a personality and be honest. If things are going shitty that day, then say so and take a minute to breathe. I'm not that high maintenance."
Preach on!
"On top of that, I'd like to add that it should be mandatory for everyone to work a job for tips at some point before they reach 22"
Maybe many more people in this country would have common courtesy when dealing with the public.
"Tipping is a far better system. As a waiter/bartender I prefer the gamble. It's just a fun game to see what happens. Plus, where I work some people leave some pretty big tips and I'd miss that. I like to turn around and buy drinks for the guest with the tip they gave me."
But we're all greedy cash hogs lining up for your pocket change, aren’t we?
"Personally I feel tipping is good for me-I can give good servers that little bit extra that I know (or think I know ;)) they'll appreciate."
I always feel good when appreciated, thank you.
"I would rather keep the tip system or else waiters have no reason to give me good service. I'm an excellent tipper when the service is good or excellent (20 to 25% usually)."
People don't do a job well just because they are employed. Research has shown when there are motivating factors productivity increases exponentially.
Think we are greedy for that?
Then get first in line to give up your stock options, employer 401K contribution, raise initiatives or whatever, does that put things in perspective?
"Everyone should be paid a fair wage, period. If the customer gets great service, you get a great tip."
You got it!
See the whole point of this post is not for me or my comrades to get what we don't deserve, it is to get what we do. I'm just tired of getting slapped in the face for a job well done. Or for some people to find whatever excuse they can to pay less on their bill. The easiest way to do that is to hit the server, not the establishment. If you can't afford the prices go somewhere you can. Don't take it out on the person working their ass off for you to enjoy a good meal.
In the future I'll try not to be as negative, more stories and less issues. I just felt I had to refute some of the notions that had been in the comments box and give my opinon.
20 Comments:
While I'm not in a tipping industry, I am in the waiting on people industry. As a flight attendant, I get tired of being blamed for lost luggage, the price of tickets, flight delays, how long you had to wait on the ground to get your connection, the time it takes to get through security and the collapse of the airline industry.
I'm just hear to give you some peanuts and a beverge, and to pull your sorry ass from the plane in the event of an emergency. . . .
I own a restaurant and have seen servers come and go. I've seen the best and the worst, believe me. I truly believe that our patrons can appreciate a good server even on a bad day and tip accordingly. I've seen it happen. I've also seen the opposite. A crappy server with a bad attitude (not just a bad day) and a patron responding accordingly and then the server whining to anyone who will listen. I think the main point here was to pay for a job well done -- even under pressure -- I believe in our patrons enough to feel that in the majority of cases, they do so. These patrons are not idiots and do see when a server is busy -- I've had many comment to me upon leaving about how busy their server was but what a great job she/he was doing. I've also had the ones who complained about servers that I knew to be crap. Tip based on the actions of the server under any kind of pressure or no pressure. Bottom line.
I think it's interesting that while Server is defending the employment choice of those in food service, he is bashing all of us who work in business. We are not all paper-pushers in meaningless jobs.
How about next time you deposit a check in the bank, you tip the teller to motivate him or her to do it correctly and quickly? Next time you drive on a public street, you tip those who research safety issues so you can make it to your destination without injury? Perhaps you should tip your pharmacist for giving you the correct medication and instructions to go along with it?
I believe servers should get tips based on service, but I do not think it's fair for them to dictate what a proper tip is. I also completely object to the Server's opinion that if your server is busting their ass because they are swamped, you should tip them extra, even if your experience is suffering because of it.
And for Server's comment that if you can't afford to tip well, you can't afford to eat out: 1. Last I checked, the only price that was required to be paid was listed on the menu. 2. He never entertains the idea that maybe poor tips are based on his service, rather than cheap customers. 3. Servers keep increasing the "standard" tip they expect. Before too long, they'll tell us as we're seated that we need to tip 50% up front before they even take our drink order.
If you claim you can't live off poor tips (but you can still pull in over $30k working part-time), perhaps it's time to look for another source of employment. Everyone has to take the good with the bad at work. Sure, I like my hours and pay, but my boss is a bear. No one comes around offering me a cookie because I have several deadlines that I can't possibly meet.
I wish this blog were less anonymous, because I would be extremely interested in going to this restaurant and finding out if this server is as good as he thinks he is. Although, it wouldn't take too much investigation, since we know the name of his sister and her location in Iowa.
Reading the opinions of this Insane Waiter (which seems to be an accurate name) gives me the opposite impression of servers than I think he intends. I waitressed during high school and was never so derogatory to customers based on tips. When I go out to eat now, I wonder if my server will be one of the self-important, greedy, judgmental people that I read about here. FYI-there are a lot of you out there that are not great at your jobs, and I don't expect much.
"I think it's interesting that while Server is defending the employment choice of those in food service, he is bashing all of us who work in business. We are not all paper-pushers in meaningless jobs."
If you would read again I was making a point about generalizations, in other words putting the shoe on the other foot.
"I also completely object to the Server's opinion that if your server is busting their ass because they are swamped, you should tip them extra, even if your experience is suffering because of it."
Never asked for more money, just patience.
"And for Server's comment that if you can't afford to tip well, you can't afford to eat out: 1. Last I checked, the only price that was required to be paid was listed on the menu."
The price doesn't include paying the payroll of servers. I only ask for what is fair, 18% or so for good service...
Any more than that is certainly appreciated if you feel I warrent it
"FYI-there are a lot of you out there that are not great at your jobs, and I don't expect much."
Broad generalization? Thought you were against those?
"No one comes around offering me a cookie because I have several deadlines that I can't possibly meet."
Not that your 401k,pension,stock options,healthcare,vacation,sickdays, aren't motivators in your job?
We don't get those, our motivators are tips.
"How about next time you deposit a check in the bank, you tip the teller to motivate him or her to do it correctly and quickly? Next time you drive on a public street, you tip those who research safety issues so you can make it to your destination without injury? Perhaps you should tip your pharmacist for giving you the correct medication and instructions to go along with it?"
My point is you don't tell these people how to do their jobs, yet you expect to do the same to us.
Just a different pov
Insane
btw come on down and have lunch sometime, the reason I'm anonymous is so I don't get hassled at work for giving my opinions in an unobstructed way.
A couple of thoughts:
1. If you're having a busy period, you might get smaller tips from each table because the service is a bit slow. To counteract that, though, you have more tables to give you tips, so you'll probably do better in total than a slow night when you can lavish your full attention on one customer.
2. "The price doesn't include paying the payroll of servers. I only ask for what is fair, 18% or so for good service..."
But is 18% or so of the price of the meal "fair"? It is certainly the customary level of tip, expected by most servers and most customers, but I'm not sure exactly how that makes it "fair".
There are a number of reasonably objective ways that one could determine "fair". One could decide that a particular server serviced three tables in an hour, so a "fair" tip would be a third of the hourly wage of a skilled tradesman, say. If the server is expected to "tip out" the rest of the staff, one would have to increase the "fair" tip accordingly.
Alternatively, one could decide that a fair tip is one that would induce a server to serve a customer in a free market. If there was anything resembling a free market between server and customer, that might work, but of course there isn't. Servers aren't free to chose which customers they want to serve, customers aren't free to chose a server, and the price of the service is never agreed at all.
Thirdly, one could look at the prevailing wages in the locality, the cost of living and so on, and come up with an annual income which one deems appropriate for a server, then divide by the price of meals that a server serves during the course of a year. That could well give you a "fair" percentage.
Not that your 401k,pension,stock options,healthcare,vacation,sickdays, aren't motivators in your job?
We don't get those, our motivators are tips.
I think this is my philosophical problem with "automatic" tipping for normal service.
If I'm a customer in your restaurant, you don't work for me - you work for the restaurant. If I get bad service, I won't go back to the restaurant. If I get good service, I'm very likely to go back. The chief beneficiary of your good service is the restaurant, as it gets lots of repeat business. So it seems as though the incentive for you to do a good job "should" be offered by the restaurant. Dumping the responsibility on the customer seems like a cop out.
When encountering bad attitudes, bad tippers and the grammer police, SMILE and think to yourself "I sure am glad I'm not them!"
Steve
brilliant. i agree wholeheartedly. i'd come to your restaurant anyday and probably get great service and i'd leave a phatty tip. way to go!
Lauren
There are hidden charges in everything. Although I don't tip the bank teller, I am forced to pay a service charge. When I pay my insurance, there is once again, a commission paid to the insurance agant. When I take my car to the mechanic, I pay a service charge. I don't have a choice, there is a set price on top of the amount I pay for the merchandise. Last time I checked, service is not and should not be free.
It is NOT the servers problem if you can't budget your money. If it makes you that jealous and bitter to tip, then don't. You will continue to complain about substandard service because instinctually the server can feel your anomosity and they will cater to the patrons that do enjoy to "dine" as opposed to the one's that are there to "feed".
By the way, tipping is supposed to make you feel good. It's a customary gesture that expresses your appreciation. I tip because it makes ME feel good that I am able to show my appreciation for service even if it's just a monetary gesture.
I look at it as "paying it forward". I believe in karma. There may come a time when you get laid off and have to work side by side with one of us. We'll have to see how long you last.
QUOTE:
"I went to a restaurant last night, and when the bill came, they added 15% and put it on the credit card receipt. Tip was 8.50, but I wanted to give her $10 cause she deserved it. But they decided for me and that pissed me off. I didn't change it, but we won't be going back." END QUOTE
...a convienent way to explain and excuse your cheapness. Don't think for one minute that they'll miss you when you say you won't be back. Shame on you.
All this complaining about "bad service" just goes to prove how valuable a good server that cares about the product and the service they provide is. I've worked with plenty of kids who are in the business for a "quick minute", just to make some fast cash and never plan on seeing you (or serving you) again. Appreciate what you're getting and TIP APPROPRIATLEY.
I found your blog through waiterrant -- another good one!
You noted people have trouble with tip math -- where I live, our sales tax rate is 7.75% to 8.25% so I just double the sales tax charged on the meal (for a minumum of 15.5% to 16.5%) and add to it for great service.
I don't usually do the split check thing; when I do, it's usually to pay for my wine separately when I'm with a specific group of people (we go out for birthdays and just divide the check by those of us there less the honoree; since wine is more than soft drinks, I like to pay separately -- I'm retired, I can drink at lunch!
These hard working employees.
What I don't understand then is why the employer doesn't pay a fair wage for the employee for a job well done? Maybe if waitstaff were independent contractors, then I might get it. But why isn't the waitstaff built into the cost structure, just like the kitchen, cleaning, etc? It it just because they are more visible to the consumer?
I hope this doesn't come across as contentious, because it is truly a curiosity I've had a for a number of years.
You did it again, Insane..wonderful entry..very thorough and to the point. Perhaps some of your readers who are not in the service industry will finally understand what this is about. And you are 100% correct, by the way, in your statement that studies show "motivating factors increase productivity exponentially." It's called the "arousal theory" and it's a major study in social psychology. (I'm a social work major). To put it in plain English...if you know there's big bucks at the table, you're gonna work your ass off to get it. I read you and waiterrant faithfully and think of you both whenever I go out. And not only do I tip my servers well, I also tip my hairdresser and manicurist (when I go) very well. I was a good tipper before reading your journals, about 25%, but now I lean more toward 30% or more. It's been a long time since I waited tables, but it was the best job, and the most fun, not to mention the HARDEST job, I ever had. I would do it again in a heartbeat. Keep it up, Insane..I love you, man!!! :-D
The thing I find most ironic is that Americans tip like crazy in the US but they come to Europe and suddenly forget how to do it, when I worked in a kitchen, every time we had an American guest they left no tip, whether the service was good or not, I mean some of the girls busted their arses bending over backwards to give them the service they'd expect and they just upped and left with no tip, where's the justice there?
I've read (and agree with) many of your views with regards to a server's perspective on customers and tipping. I was a server for several years and reading your blog brings back many memories...good and bad. I do have a problem with your references to "brats".
As a frequent diner with my husband and two small, well behaved, children (3 & 4 1/2) I take offense at the term brat. My girls are not allowed to run wild, carry on loudly or make a mess all over the table or floor, and if one of them is having an off night they end up in the car with my husband or myself while they cool their heels. Also, are check total is usually pretty good (for the server) as we typically order a drinks, apps and desserts. Kids menu items have gone up considerably at some places and we pay $4.50 - $5 each for our girls' dinners as well as a scoop of ice cream or something similar.
Unfortunately we sometimes seem to get profiled from the get go as bad tippers (quite the opposite from the truth) or a table not worth servicing well, and end up with crappy service from a waiter/waitress...who proceeds to fawn over his/her other tables. If the service is decent, nothing special, we may tip big (25% or more) just to show the waiter/waitress they shouldn't judge a table by the presents of small children. Even if the service is pretty bad we rarely tip below 15%. Bottom line though, we are weary of being pigeon-holed because we have small children.
When I waited tables I did the best job I could regardless of whether or not I thought the table would tip me well. It's called taking pride in your work and it is unfortunate that pride in work and common courtesy seem to be falling by the wayside...in all walks of life.
I almost wish I had the nerve to pass out a business-type card at the onset that says something like "Former waitress here. Good service equals good tip. Thank you."
Thoughts? :)
As a side note there are no commission at the GAP.
Best Buy employees don't get commission either but they have to be friendly and sell products otherwise they get fired. Good enough incentive heh.
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