Obnoxious Inebriation

Dear chain restaurant/chain restaurant manager…

Right now I am mightily drunk, I had deep conversations on life, racism, the war as well as our beloved restaurant industry in the last few hours, here's a few things that may infuriate you...

As well as the grammar Nazi's out there.

First off I violated the rule of having three tables/12 "guests" in my section.

I had eight tables at the height of tonight's rush (did I spell tonite wright?)

And a total of twenty four guests rolling in my section at the same time.

I suppose I could have had several (ten) less "guests" and had a better ability to give proper service, after all my chief purpose in this business is to service the "guest".

Was that period in the right place? Last time I messed with a period I got dumped, but I digress.

I guess I was a greedy son of a gun (not a bitch, my Mother's a Saint!) but with that extra ten people I made another$1,000,000 or so, at any rate a higher number than any server should deserve.

I probably could have made a bit less and provided a marginal bit of extra service, but rather than sell desserts or coffee I pushed you out of my section for another table.

"Dessert, well they're oooooooooook, no we don't have expresso...

(Apologies, espresso)

Bamn, another $200 table instead of a camper with their $5 desserts.

Then I took seven tables, one was an eight top, to the chain restaurant managers I do apologize, I should have split that table, but I was greedy.

Instead of pulling $35 on a split I put myself ahead and rolled with $70.

Oh yeah, I won the sales contest and brought home a nice bottle of wine on the house.

I guess I don't care about the guest as much as my own income...

But they are related now aren't they, I care about the guest as much as my income is involved.

But time to go, "Rocket Queen" is on my stereo and its time for one last beer before I have to wake up and play an actor again.

As we say "Peace, Love and Chicken Grease."

Was the period in the right place?