That's bull

My trainee came up to me last night with a message that my eight top wanted to see me about their bill.

I knew it was trouble right away, nothing went wrong with the table, but I had a feeling they’d cause trouble.

“Did you have a question about the bill?” I asked the gentleman I gave the bill to.

“No, but he does,” the man said with a look of embarrassment.

He was pointing at the self appointed leader of the table, his brother.

“Question, sir?” I asked.

“Yeah, this bill is too high, you charged us twice.” He said.

I took a look over the tab, I clearly did not charge them twice.

“Sir, the bill is correct.” I said.

“Then what are all these charges, you can’t seriously expect us to pay this much for our drinks.”
He said.

“Sir, if you ordered the item I do expect you to pay for it.” I replied.

“Is the tip already on here?” Asked his wife.

“Yes ma’am, I have it circled on the bottom.” I replied.

“Well then why is it on here twice?” She asked.

“Ma’am it is listed in both the sub total and at the bottom of the bill.” I said.

“How much is the charge?” Asked her husband.

“Fifty dollars,” I replied.

“Well I think that’s bullshit, we don‘t tip that high.” He said.

Mind you he wasn’t paying the bill.

“Sir, it is clearly posted that we apply a service charge to groups of eight or more.” I replied.

“Well that’s bullshit, I’ve never heard of such a thing.” He said.

“Sir, we charge service of eighteen percent, which is industry standard.” I said.

“Bullshit, how come there’s all these other charges?” He asked.

“Sir, earlier you asked for separate checks, your friend offered to pay the bill and I had to combine the tabs again under one total.” I replied.

“We didn’t order three hundred fifty dollars worth of food, it wasn’t even that good.” He slurred.

“Sir, there’s nothing on the bill that shouldn’t be there, when I asked how everything was everybody was very satisfied.” I replied.

“Here, here, give me the bill,” said the man’s brother.

“I have to apologize, my brother lives in Huxley.” Said the man paying the bill.

“I have an old girlfriend from Huxley,” I said with a smile.

“Well I think you did a fine job, thank you for everything,” he said as he handed me his credit card.

“I still think its bullshit,” fumed his brother.

I applied the bill to his card and thanked him (he left me extra on top of the gratuity).

Later, my trainee declared that I was her hero.

“Nothing I don’t deal with on a daily basis,” I replied.