The Insane Waiter

Running wild on customers, chefs, owners and managers since 1997. I bring to you, The Insane Waiter. What do bring to your table? A crisp bottle of San Pellegrino ? Perhaps a lovely seared Sashimi Tuna? Start off with a wonderful bottle from Tuscany perhaps? Why I'll be more than happy to bring you your White Zinfandel and Chicken Caesar. No you can't order the mac and cheese off the kids menu and sorry no, we don't serve cheese sticks....

Sunday, June 22, 2008

That's bull

My trainee came up to me last night with a message that my eight top wanted to see me about their bill.

I knew it was trouble right away, nothing went wrong with the table, but I had a feeling they’d cause trouble.

“Did you have a question about the bill?” I asked the gentleman I gave the bill to.

“No, but he does,” the man said with a look of embarrassment.

He was pointing at the self appointed leader of the table, his brother.

“Question, sir?” I asked.

“Yeah, this bill is too high, you charged us twice.” He said.

I took a look over the tab, I clearly did not charge them twice.

“Sir, the bill is correct.” I said.

“Then what are all these charges, you can’t seriously expect us to pay this much for our drinks.”
He said.

“Sir, if you ordered the item I do expect you to pay for it.” I replied.

“Is the tip already on here?” Asked his wife.

“Yes ma’am, I have it circled on the bottom.” I replied.

“Well then why is it on here twice?” She asked.

“Ma’am it is listed in both the sub total and at the bottom of the bill.” I said.

“How much is the charge?” Asked her husband.

“Fifty dollars,” I replied.

“Well I think that’s bullshit, we don‘t tip that high.” He said.

Mind you he wasn’t paying the bill.

“Sir, it is clearly posted that we apply a service charge to groups of eight or more.” I replied.

“Well that’s bullshit, I’ve never heard of such a thing.” He said.

“Sir, we charge service of eighteen percent, which is industry standard.” I said.

“Bullshit, how come there’s all these other charges?” He asked.

“Sir, earlier you asked for separate checks, your friend offered to pay the bill and I had to combine the tabs again under one total.” I replied.

“We didn’t order three hundred fifty dollars worth of food, it wasn’t even that good.” He slurred.

“Sir, there’s nothing on the bill that shouldn’t be there, when I asked how everything was everybody was very satisfied.” I replied.

“Here, here, give me the bill,” said the man’s brother.

“I have to apologize, my brother lives in Huxley.” Said the man paying the bill.

“I have an old girlfriend from Huxley,” I said with a smile.

“Well I think you did a fine job, thank you for everything,” he said as he handed me his credit card.

“I still think its bullshit,” fumed his brother.

I applied the bill to his card and thanked him (he left me extra on top of the gratuity).

Later, my trainee declared that I was her hero.

“Nothing I don’t deal with on a daily basis,” I replied.


At 9:22 PM , Anonymous Anonymous said...

Just fyi, your RSS feed no longer shows the whole entry so I have to click through to the site to read it... so I removed this feed from my reader (I don't want to have to click off to a new site).

Just letting you know in case it wasn't intentional :)

At 10:22 PM , Anonymous Anonymous said...

same problem here with full story not showing unless i open a new page.

At 10:59 PM , Anonymous Anonymous said...

Thank Crom the cool brother was paying for the meal. The other guy sounds like a total douche.

At 11:30 PM , Anonymous Azizeh said...

Where I work, our managers will go over to the parties that we do the Auto gratuity to before we drop check. They just wander over, ask how everything was. This is the time to voice any complaints and if they don't, they can't suddenly talk shit when the bill hits and they see the 18% is added.

Of course, that only works if you have competent managers in the first place.

At 3:14 AM , Blogger Masquerade said...


Insane Waiter - 1
Angry Idiot - 0


At 1:08 PM , Blogger The Unexpectected Chef said...

This made me LOL, and cheer for IW


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