The Insane Waiter

Running wild on customers, chefs, owners and managers since 1997. I bring to you, The Insane Waiter. What do bring to your table? A crisp bottle of San Pellegrino ? Perhaps a lovely seared Sashimi Tuna? Start off with a wonderful bottle from Tuscany perhaps? Why I'll be more than happy to bring you your White Zinfandel and Chicken Caesar. No you can't order the mac and cheese off the kids menu and sorry no, we don't serve cheese sticks....

Monday, March 24, 2008

Run, don't walk...

As I walked past a table that had just vacated I noticed the credit card poking out of the payment folder, being that the customers were just exiting I picked up the book and gave chase.

Background: These were the type of customer that a server hates, impatient, demanding and incapable of ordering anything on the menu.

In fact they declared that, “They don’t do menus.”

Being that they were the type of sophisticated who apparently make up whatever they want wherever they go I was less than thrilled to have them.

They declared that although they won’t eat any animal products, that they will eat fish, which I found amusing, aren’t fish some of God’s creatures?

I guess not to pseudo-aristocratic fools.

I digress…

I gave chase out the doors.

“Sir, sir! You forgot your credit card!” I shouted.

The group turned around, the man who made payment had a look of alarm on his face.

“Here you go,” I said breathlessly as I opened the book to retrieve the card.

The moment I did that I froze as I saw the tip they left me and my motions hesitated.

“Oh thanks, did we take care of you ok?” Asked the man.

“Well if you think eight percent is a proper tip then you should feel pretty good about yourself.” I responded.

I then froze in my tracks, it just sort of came out, I’m known for having a smart mouth and usually I can control it with customers, well not this time.

He gave me a queer look and took his card.

That is precisely the reason why I don’t make any effort to chase down customers who leave items, whether it be leftovers, credit cards or laptops.

That is unless I notice 15% or more on the tip line.


At 11:53 PM , Anonymous Anonymous said...

walk don't run.
read the ticket. oops.

At 12:49 PM , Anonymous Anonymous said...

That is fantastic.

At 2:44 PM , Anonymous Anonymous said...

Commie Bastards.

At 5:03 PM , Blogger 6th Floor blog said...

Should've looked first. It's a rookie mistake.

At 5:29 AM , Blogger Ray said...

Never run for less than 15%. :)

Love your comment though... Nice.

At 4:48 PM , Anonymous Anonymous said...

They are the same ones who want all the scraps wrapped and then they leave it behind. BASTARDS !

At 11:52 AM , Anonymous Anonymous said...

I love when guests return, hours later with, "Oh, I left my TO GO bag, can you get it for me"? If I know they left a crappy tip I always offer to show them to the storage area for left behind food. Than I take them out the back door to the dumpster and ask which bag is theirs.

At 2:18 AM , Anonymous Anonymous said...

I always look before I chase. If it's a shitty tip, the credit card goes in the safe. Since they saved money on the tip, they can make up for it by paying for the gas to come back to the restaurant. ;D


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