The Insane Waiter

Running wild on customers, chefs, owners and managers since 1997. I bring to you, The Insane Waiter. What do bring to your table? A crisp bottle of San Pellegrino ? Perhaps a lovely seared Sashimi Tuna? Start off with a wonderful bottle from Tuscany perhaps? Why I'll be more than happy to bring you your White Zinfandel and Chicken Caesar. No you can't order the mac and cheese off the kids menu and sorry no, we don't serve cheese sticks....

Monday, November 14, 2005

Again

So it happened again.

Six top of trailer park denizens...

Ordered six iced waters to start off, with sugar.

Come back and they're making fruit punch in their drinks with kool-aid packets.

Where do these people come from?

Why is someone so cheap that they can't even order a lemonade or something?

God know they'd run me for refills, but they're free people!

I really wanted to choke them, especially when they had the balls to pass me their half empty fruit punch glasses and ask for more water.

19 Comments:

At 5:38 AM , Blogger Sketchy said...

...how about the old lady who asks for hot water and produces a tea bag from out of her purse? And then asks for more hot water? Or the cheapo who uses the sugar packets and fresh lemon wedges to make free lemonade? I won't even go into the one who steals the salt and pepper shakers....

http://sketchy01.blogspot.com

 
At 8:37 AM , Blogger akirakid said...

OK I know it's annoying, but now with the "Crystal Lite" on the go packets allowing people to have any flavor they want when they want it there's not much we can do. They may be cheap, they may be on a diet, they just may not like the overly sugared flavor of fountain drinks. I have customers that ask if we have soda in a can because they have been burned by the taste of fountain soda that is calibrated wrong. As for the lady who wants hot water and produces her own tea bag, I found a great way around that. My place has recently started charging for the hot water with the explination that the hot water comes as part of the tea service (tea pot, mug, lemon, etc.) and if they choose not to use the tea bag in lieu of their own that is their choice. Most customers have no problem.

 
At 9:14 AM , Blogger Sketchy said...

...it's not like we make a living selling food or anything. I just love it when the guests bring in their homemade birthday cakes and get pissed when you apply a plate charge.


http://sketchy01.blogspot.com

 
At 10:22 AM , Anonymous Anonymous said...

What is wrong with people?? If you want your own drink, fine, stay at home.

 
At 11:06 AM , Anonymous Anonymous said...

Dude, that's hilarious. I've worked in loads of restaurants and never seen anything like that.

What kind of a rinky-dink place are you working in, anyway, that keeps bringing in these wackos?

 
At 11:14 AM , Anonymous Anonymous said...

You should have just given them a pitcher and directed them to the bathroom sink. UGH. I hate people.

 
At 1:58 PM , Blogger JTN said...

I remember my 9th grade French class. My teacher, some WASP-y housewife, actually spent part of a class explaining how to make lemonade for free at a restaurant with lemon slices and sugar.

I've seen this discussion in various forms other places and I think the element people keep missing is how PROUD people are who do this are of their own frugality.

My french teachers behavior stuck with me (its been about 15 years ago now) largely because of how impressed she was with herself for saving a few bucks.

People doing this don't see themselves as 'white trash' or rude. They see themselves are savvy comsumers getting something for nothing and feel darned proud about it. And when you are dealing with that attitude, it's a difficult, if not impossible thing to change.

 
At 2:08 PM , Blogger Cynthia said...

People are always looking to get something for free. If they are so cheap that they can't buy even a drink, then they should stay at home. And if their diet prohibits them from drinking soda or tea, then again they should just not eat out. But I guess that would be too easy.

 
At 9:39 PM , Anonymous Anonymous said...

It kills me everytime! My favorite is usually the people that bring in 10 zillion coupons and can't understand why they can only use one. I'm always the manager sent over to point out the area where it says "NOT VALID WITH ANY OTHER OFFER" I really wish it said "IF YOU HAVE TO ASK WHY, DON'T EAT HERE YOU CHEAP MORON;O)" Always with a smile!

Selena

 
At 11:08 PM , Blogger twistedsoda said...

had some lady the other day ask me for warm-hot water...I had to put her teapot in the hot water and then run it through tap water...and don't forget the damn lemon....warm-hot water....I hope you choke on it!

 
At 11:52 PM , Anonymous Anonymous said...

My neighbor at a restaurant I was at actually put instant coffee in his ice water, then asked for the entire glass to be heated! It's really too bad when people lose their dignity and inhibitions when faced with the bright prospect of shaving five bucks off their check.

 
At 1:37 PM , Blogger KFarmer said...

Where the heck do these people come from? I have never heard of such.

 
At 2:13 PM , Anonymous Anonymous said...

Nephew Dude:

So, do you and your readers think it is tacky if I take my own avocado into a restaurant to add to their otherwise excellent salads?

Love,

Uncle R.

 
At 3:02 PM , Anonymous Anonymous said...

Some people are just cheap or "thrifty" as they like to call it. However, there ARE occassions when I think a person has a right to bring their own drink.

I used to work at a restaurant in a small town and we had a elderly couple that came in a couple nights a week. The husband was severely diabetic and we really didn't offer anything other than water that he could drink, so none of us was offended when he brought his own.

 
At 3:20 PM , Anonymous Anonymous said...

Kool-Aid? I don't even drink that crap at home. Hot tea, I can kinda understand. I'm a total tea snob, and most restaurants don't keep the kind I like. But I would have no problem paying for tea instead of water. In fact, I'd probably suggest charging me for tea in that case - that is, if I had the nerve to bring my own tea bags to a restaurant....

 
At 4:43 PM , Blogger C La said...

Hi, Insane. I've read your blog for a while, but have never posted a question. I'm hoping you might have time to answer this question because if I am making a server go through extra steps, I really do not want to not do it anymore.
My question is this - I love coffee, so whenever the server asks if I want more coffee, I say yes. Often this works out to 3-5 cups of coffee at a time and we go to this restaurant twice a week. I try to make up for it by tipping 20% post-tax, and I *never* wave her (we ask for the same server each time) over. Should I say no after the second cup? Is she is just being extra kind by offering me cup after cup? I feel like an idiot asking, but, believe me when I type that I am sincere.

Thank you, in advance.

 
At 8:15 PM , Blogger Mike "Ol' Roy" Camp said...

So lets say you are on a diet.

Get water!!! No calories and it is free. I swear I could make millions off yuppies by selling low carb water.

 
At 8:43 PM , Anonymous Anonymous said...

I don't care if my customers order water as long as they tip well. Sometimes the bills that are the cheapest get the best tips :)

 
At 11:00 AM , Anonymous Anonymous said...

I'm guilty of bringing in my own mixers to a bar. I almost never do it while dining, but when I go out to get cocktails I do because (a) bars rarely have any diet mixers besides diet coke (which only mixes with so many things before you get sick of it) and (b) I'm a weakling when it comes to holding my alcohol. I hate strong drinks, and even when I order a tall, I need to add more mixer. So I order shots and glasses of water. This way I stay longer, order more, and tip a minimum of twenty percent for the poor server or bartender putting up with my crap. And twenty percent is on the low side.

Is there anything particularly wrong in that?

 

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