The Insane Waiter

Running wild on customers, chefs, owners and managers since 1997. I bring to you, The Insane Waiter. What do bring to your table? A crisp bottle of San Pellegrino ? Perhaps a lovely seared Sashimi Tuna? Start off with a wonderful bottle from Tuscany perhaps? Why I'll be more than happy to bring you your White Zinfandel and Chicken Caesar. No you can't order the mac and cheese off the kids menu and sorry no, we don't serve cheese sticks....

Monday, February 20, 2006


So I was messing around online reading restaurant reviews from the customer's perspective and some of them were kinda funny to me, here's a few along with my comments.

The website is

Review for "Baratta's Trattoria & Pizzaria"

"A little overrated. They recently raised prices quite a bit and their food didn't improve w/ increase. Pizza a little greasy. Not real kid friendly - not a lot for them to see/do. Sandwiches were ok, but nothing to brag about. Not my favorite south side spot! Recommend others first."

Ok, it's a restaurant, we're not here to keep your kids entertained.

Isn't that why you throw cheerio's all over the table, and thus the kids throw them on the floor?

Ya, that happened to me today, nice and sanitary there parents of the year.

How about including them in your meal in the form of conversations, attention, even a book for them! Even if it is a picture book.

What do you expect, video games and TV sets?

Oh ya, that's probably how you keep them occupied at home.

Next up, the food...

Baratta's is a south side institution featuring excellent selections of steaks, seafoods and pastas, each with many variations of preparation.

Instead you go out to eat for pizza and a French dip.

How about you have an actual dinner that a 16 year old on her first date wouldn't order.

Mad about the prices?

I know its a pain in the ass to pay more than the value of a Red Baron or Tombstone.

I understand you feel slighted because you had to pay more than five bucks for a sandwich, go to Subway, I think maybe that's what you're looking for.

Prices don't change because the perceived quality will go up, they go up to pay overhead, payroll, vendors and other bills.

Next up is Court Ave. Brewing Company

"Pizza wasn't as good as expected - it also had a topping requested to be left off. Sandwich wasn't that good either. Kids weren't impressed, not a lot for them to do, they got bored easily. Food is overpriced for proportion and isn't that great. I'd recommend Rock Bottom 1st and Raccoon River 2nd = better."

Ah, this guy sounds familiar.

Once again, we're a restaurant, not a family fun center.

Chuck E. Cheese is on the other side of town, sorry we didn't impress your kids or entertain them, once again, that's your job

As far as the price, $9.99 for a pizza is about as cheap as you're gonna get, hell that's cheaper than most delivery joints!

I don't understand about overpriced for proportion, 90% of the menu is between eight and fifteen bucks!

And yes, the portions are generous.

In both cases I would summize you try for yourself...

The gentleman in question obviously doesn't like to pay even minimal dining out checks and probably was just disappointed there was no kids eat free day.

Check out

It's good for some head shaking and comedy at the very least, I'll leave serious reviews to those who are qualified.


At 7:05 AM , Anonymous Anonymous said...

Woo-Hoo!!!!! First comment!!!!!

At 9:56 AM , Anonymous Anonymous said...

Mr. Anonymous gets the coveted Brainiac of the Year award. Why do morons continue, in this day and age, to have first post fever? And being anonymous, what's the point? Thank you for adding your valuable insight to these comments.

Now, I realize that most 'professional' food critics are all hoity toity and will bash a restaurant for having, say, only flour tortilas instead of corn tortilas. But at least they are prepared and know what they're going to write about.

Thanks to blogging, everyone's a critic. While I'm not a fan of spelling and grammatical errors, I'm a fan of Secret. In all honesty, I don't know why I posted this.

Oh yeah, to remind Mr. Anonymous that he needs a good cockpunching.

At 10:57 AM , Anonymous Curious said...

I hate people that seem to think the world is their daycare. I have four year old. We either find a babysitter (when we'd like to have an adults only meal) or if we do take him with us (usually not to expensive restaurants that cater to adults anyway) we pay attention to him and see that he's enjoying himself.

Of course, we're also one of those rare crazy couples that believes a child should behave themselves in public. We find out what he wants to eat BEFORE the waiter comes to take the order and we make him sit and eat rather than make a mess or cause a disturbance.

I've actually had other parents comment on how "well behaved" he is. Well...just because YOUR children are hanging off of the light fixtures and decorating the place in food and pop, doesn't mean ALL children behave that way...

At 11:46 AM , Anonymous Anonymous said...

anon poster #2 sounds like he's experienced at handling other guys' genitals

At 12:56 PM , Blogger mrclm said...

I do appreciate good food reviews, and try to be fair when I do them myself. I don't do a lot of them, but I have fun when I get the chance. An example would be Checing out new pizza joints that I blogged a while back. I don't think I'm big enough on the fine details to truly be a food critic, but it's fun to play amature!

Big Chris
Because I said so blog

At 3:58 PM , Anonymous Anonymous said...

I agree with anon #3 - why on earth would you punch someone in the cock??

At 6:49 PM , Anonymous Anonymous said...

Yaaaay! I'm the last comment!

At 4:09 AM , Blogger Kirsten said...

Not anymore

At 2:32 PM , Blogger Brad #1 said...

Best of all, I checked out the reviews in my city, and someone actually did a review of a McDonalds. Pathetic.

At 1:44 PM , Anonymous Anon #6 said...

Yeah, anon #2 needs to have his sarcasm meter checked.

At 9:33 PM , Anonymous anon #1 (this thread) said...

Thank you #6. At least you got it.

Next time I'll use a lot more bangs.

At 10:56 AM , Anonymous Josh said...

Some reviews are ridiculous. I'm a bartender and I like the waiter/bartender workplace reviews on It's helpful when you need a waiter job.


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