The Insane Waiter

Running wild on customers, chefs, owners and managers since 1997. I bring to you, The Insane Waiter. What do bring to your table? A crisp bottle of San Pellegrino ? Perhaps a lovely seared Sashimi Tuna? Start off with a wonderful bottle from Tuscany perhaps? Why I'll be more than happy to bring you your White Zinfandel and Chicken Caesar. No you can't order the mac and cheese off the kids menu and sorry no, we don't serve cheese sticks....

Friday, March 03, 2006

But I Have an Order!

So this morning while preparing for the barrage of Arnold Palmers and Chicken Caesers the usual gang of us was hanging out and shooting the shit.

Alyssa, one of my sister's in arms had a funny little story for us.

It seems the hostess, the very same one from stories past, had been giving customers Alyssa's home phone number.

We have a pastry chef by a similar first name, Alicia, apparently our genius friend didn't know the difference

While at home on her day off Alyssa received a call, here's how she relayed the story to us.

"Yes, I'd like to place an order for a special cake for our banquet." The caller asked.

"Excuse me, how can I help you?" Said Alyssa.

"Well I'm having a banquet at your restaurant and I want to order a cake, I was given your number by a British sounding lady."

At this point in the story we were all groaning and rolling our eyes, I pretty much know it is against company policy to give out home numbers, no matter who's they may be, pastry chef or no, hell it may even be against the law.

As Alyssa went on, "Well she's not supposed to give out home numbers, you need to call the restaurant back and talk to Alicia there, I'm not the person you're looking for."

"But I just called there! They gave me your number!" The caller exclaimed.

"I'm not the chef, I'm a waitress, call the restaurant." Alyssa stated.

"Well how about you take my order and give it to your chef?"

"No, you need to call the restaurant like I told you."

"Well do you have the chef's number? I need to place this order." Our new friend wondered.

Alyssa said, "I'm not going to give you her number, you need to contact her at the restaurant."

"But I called there, she's not working today, they gave me this number and I want to place my order, why can't you take it?"

"Because its my day off, I'm not going to be at your beck and call on my day off, I do enough of that when I'm waiting tables, good bye!"

-click

Alyssa is my new hero...

29 Comments:

At 6:01 PM , Anonymous Anonymous said...

Alyssa is my new hero...

Why? Because she has no concept of customer service, and possibly cost her restaurant some future banquet business? You seem to have a kind of unprofessional attitude for an "allprowaiter".

 
At 6:18 PM , Anonymous Anonymous said...

Please, before I tell you to go fuck yourself, post your home telephone number so I can call and ask you to do something that even a moron wouldn't ask you to do. Please.
Now go fuck yourself, you are an asshole.

 
At 7:46 PM , Anonymous lookatmeplease said...

What?!?

Third (3rd) post !?!?!

How will I validate my existence now?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?

waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 
At 10:45 PM , Anonymous Anonymous said...

The way you described that event was totally confusing. I get it, but I don't.

 
At 11:07 PM , Blogger Stu said...

I get it totally. I've done my stint in hospitality (18 years) and if anyone EVER gave out my home number to a punter I would have gone nuclear on their arse.

For the 1st commenter, are you for real? Hmmmm

If I was Alicia I would be kicking some serious butt as to how this dude got her number.

 
At 2:14 AM , Blogger Stu said...

sorry - Alyssa - my bad

 
At 2:58 AM , Anonymous Anonymous said...

if this is REALLy the case, you work for IDIOTS....and you may as well kill yourself...

or your coworkers...


whichever does the greater good

 
At 5:32 AM , Anonymous susan said...

I don't even want most of my coworkers to have my home number, much less the general public/customers.

If I'm not there, leave a message, and when I'm on the clock, I'll get back with you. I would have called the idiot hostess and given her and earfull, and then called the manager.

 
At 10:48 AM , Blogger Andrew Leonard said...

gah. that's one of the worst I've read... I dunno what I'd do if a customer called me on my day off and talked to me like that, in my own home.

 
At 6:18 PM , Anonymous The Girl said...

Anon#1...

Why don't you give me your home number and I'll call you on your day off from your thankless job and pester you?

Really, the sense of entitlement here is astounding. You are entitled to call the restaurant. You are not entitled to call and annoy employees at home.

It's a cake. Not life or death.

 
At 10:36 AM , Anonymous Anonymous said...

The story makes no sense. If the hostess was giving out her own number, why did the customer end up with the waitress's number? And if the customer just got off the phone with the restaurant, why couldn't he have just left an order at that time? Secret, you have to be the worst writer in the world.

Giving out an employee's number at my job is strictly prohibited, but then I have a real job.

 
At 12:30 PM , Blogger Jen said...

I understand the post...A customer called the hostess and asked for the pastry chef ALICIA to order a cake..the dumb hostess gave out ALYSSA's number instead of ALICIA (because the names sound alike). The annoying customer wanted to talk to the pastry chef only to place the order. So the woman called ALYSSA thinking she was the pastry chef ALICIA.

Get it???

 
At 2:01 PM , Anonymous steve said...

A bit off the subject, but...

You know how words take on connotations over time? I wonder whether the word "anonymous" over time is going to have the connotation of "clueless" or "asshole" "contrarian".

Thoughts anyone?

 
At 2:12 PM , Anonymous Anonymous said...

FYI, laws may vary from state to state, but in my Canadian province (Manitoba) it would be breaking privacy laws by giving out employee home numbers to customers. The company would be liable.

 
At 3:50 PM , Anonymous irishlucky said...

hm...nice point, steve. also, (possibly more importantly) nice post, secret. hey, alyssa could've pulled an "i reserve the right to refuse service to anyone, especially in my own home, so don't call here!", i doubt the "customer" would've appreciated it.

 
At 4:22 PM , Anonymous anon#8675309 said...

steve - In this age of rampant identity theft, anonymous is a pretty safe way to go.

Although historically, anonymous is reviled by some, applauded by others. The British thought this "Anonymous Patriot" guy was an asshole when he wrote "Common Sense".

 
At 6:06 PM , Anonymous Anonymous said...

I'm wondering how calling yourself Brad or Steve is much different than just using the default Anonymous label. You all need to shut the fuck up until you put some real identifiers out there.

 
At 6:11 PM , Anonymous steve said...

If you recall, I was just making the observation that many, not all, people using anon, seem to have issues, not playing well with others, missing the point etc.

Clearly this does not apply to you.

You may have noticed that posts by "Steve"s are rife with puns and sarcasm for instance. Just an observation.

 
At 9:32 PM , Blogger Brad #1 said...

And you need to shut the fuck up until you have a real point to make. This "Brad" has worked in the industry for 15 years, and has a valid comment. For all of you anons, who have never stepped foot in the industry, and have never worked in our shoes, need to stop complaining. Yes, I agree that there's bad service out there, but this blogger is talking about his personal experiences, and we're commenting on them. I'm sure that he's a competent server, and not one that you get at your typical Applebee's or any other crap-hole you decide to indulge in with your coupons.

So, by calling myself "Brad", (which is my real name, not anonymous) gives the blogger some concept to whom is commenting on his blog.

Get it, I think not.

 
At 1:53 PM , Anonymous anon #1 said...

OK, here's the point geniuses:

A customer is mistakenly given your home phone number, and doesn't understand she is speaking to the wrong person, so you:

A. Help the old bat out, even though you are not on duty.

or

B. Get annoyed and hang up on her after telling her off. How heroic!


You know how words take on different connotations over time? Well after I go take a Steve I think I'll wipe my irishlucky.

 
At 2:54 PM , Blogger Secret said...

Ok...

A. It is illegal and against policy to give out personal information.

B. She did help her out, she told her that she was mistaken and to call the restaurant back.

C. The lady who called seemed to think that she could place an order, though a waitress on her day off, there's something wrong with that right there, that we exist to wait on you whatever the circumstance.

 
At 3:21 PM , Anonymous GWB said...

All you anomo... amonium... no named youngsters ought to just count your belchings that I don't get Ole Rummy to give ya the what-for.

Carpacio?

 
At 7:48 PM , Anonymous Steve (no s__t) said...

I may have lost a battle of wits to an unarmed opponent!

Oooo that hurts!


Wasn't this fun?

 
At 3:24 PM , Anonymous anon #1 said...

I like how you said "Oooo that hurts!" Say it again for me...

 
At 3:44 PM , Anonymous Steve (no s__t) said...

"Oooo that hurts!"

I bow to our anonymous masters.

 
At 11:36 AM , Anonymous Anon #6 said...

This place is more fun every day !

Someone say something bad about New Jersey...

 
At 6:20 PM , Anonymous gotigers said...

New Jersey is a big piece of shit, and so are the losers who live there. Everybody knows that.

 
At 1:46 PM , Anonymous After a burp I said...

If it wasn't for the medical waste washing up on shore, new Jersey would have no redeeming features.

 
At 3:42 PM , Anonymous Anonymous said...

I'd love to slap Arnold Palmer for coming up with such a stupid, pointless drink..

 

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