The Insane Waiter

Running wild on customers, chefs, owners and managers since 1997. I bring to you, The Insane Waiter. What do bring to your table? A crisp bottle of San Pellegrino ? Perhaps a lovely seared Sashimi Tuna? Start off with a wonderful bottle from Tuscany perhaps? Why I'll be more than happy to bring you your White Zinfandel and Chicken Caesar. No you can't order the mac and cheese off the kids menu and sorry no, we don't serve cheese sticks....

Saturday, March 18, 2006

My Attitude

Well I love prejudging...

Actually here are my thoughts on this one.

I would bet if spent just one week without your prejudging asshole attitude, your earnings would go up 10%.

Well I average over 18% after tip outs, well over 20% on the bill, I only have an attitude when given one first, and it does happen frequently.

I go out to eat a lot by myself, and as you have pointed out before, "singles don't tip as well."

They don't, its a fact, even if they tip well their overall check is quite small and the a 15-20% tip on $11.00 is much less than the same percentage on a much larger check.

You happen to be wrong. However, if I get a server with a shit attitude like yours I sure don't.

I don't give a shit attitude unless given one first, I'm great at bullshitting and my attitude to an asshole's face is far different that the one I display when I hit that kitchen door and spit in your soup...

Ok, don't spit in the soup, you got me there.

A group I was with had a lousy experience last week. Out of this and that, cold soup, lousy salad. They ended up comping the dinner (about $50) they were so embarrassed.

I tipped the dude $30 because he worked so hard TRYING to make things better.

Had he had your attitude, I would have left a single penny.

Actually that's the exact attitude I give when things that are out of my control go wrong, many customers are less than understanding and take it out on their waiter's wage, instead of dealing with the establishment itself they screw over the one that can least afford it, regardless of effort.

After all who do guests penalize for a long wait or cold soup, and undercooked steak or corked bottle of wine?

Not the owner, manager, chef, host or cook...

They all get paid the same whether they screw up or not, the waiter, well he gets by on less.


At 8:29 AM , Anonymous navin j. said...

Yee-haw, 1st post!

I AM somebody!

At 8:53 AM , Anonymous Anonymous said...

I've never worked food service, but I've worked customer service in both the private & public sector. In my experience I have seen many people who are able to play nicey-nicey to the jerkface customer while ripping them to shreds after the interaction is over. It's probably a psychological necessity to do so.

Have none of the quoted comment authors ever been in a situation where they had to deal nicely with someone they despise? It's really not all that hard to play nice with someone we dislike, especially when there's money on the line. How do you think sales people make it through the day? Do you really think they aboslutely love each and every customer? Do you enjoy every second of the day with every single co-worker you have?

Admittedly some jobs put you in contact with other people more than others. If the insane waiter really hated every single customer, he (or she, not like anyone really knows who the waiter is) would probably get a different gig. Unfortunately, good customers don't usually make for entertaining stories. The blog posts will trend towards bad customers because they give the most entertainment value to a written piece.

If what's on here bothers you, figure out why it bothers you and why you're so irritated by it that you want to make sure this waiter person knows about it. I'm bothered by this particular post because things like this may convince the insane waiter to find another way to let off steam about his or her job. I enjoy the free entertainment provided here. I want the insane waiter to know that I would miss this blog if he or she were to get overwhelmed by negative comments and shut down the site.

I apologize for the blog post like length of this comment, but I do want the insane waiter to keep on posting.

At 12:49 PM , Blogger sourcedoc said...

VERY well said Girly Girl! Ignore them, waiter. We love ya and understand the purpose of this blog is not for them but for you!

At 1:37 PM , Blogger Lobster Boy said...

Keep at it. Those of us in the trenches know your pain. Those who don't know are the ones who complain.

Lobster Boy
Red Lobster hates its employees blog

At 2:09 PM , Anonymous Anonymous said...

Nephew Dude:

"I don't give a shit attitude unless given one first."

What would happen instead of, giving your shit attitude customers a shit attitude in return, you were to disarm them instead?

Ignore their attitude, dazzle them with your expertise on the nightly specials, on the special desserts, compliment some bitchy woman's coiffure, couture, etc. Make them look bad for their shit attitude by being so pleasant that if you were any sweeter they'd become sugar overloaded.

Make it an experiment in human relations, in manipulation even.

See what happens for the hell of it. Have some fun. Add a new dimension to your work.

I mean, it's not going to mess with your tip percentages anyway.


Uncle R.

P.S.---You seem to imply that lone diners should not go out to eat because even if they tip well the waiter or waitress is still not making much from said tip, that only parties of two or four or more should be the ones to dine out.

When I'm a lone diner I always have my newspapers with me to read (a habit inherited from your late Gramps) and, having been a waiter, I'm courteous and tip my waiter or waitress well. I hope they're not thinking, "Yeah, but he's only a lone diner and I actually lose money on his table." How minimizing!

At 2:30 PM , Blogger R. said...

Love your blog!

Yeah that's the one thing I dislike about Waitressing, the fact that the Customers get mad at you!! - (the waitstaff) How on earth is it my fault if your food is taking a long time to be made?!

At 1:06 PM , Blogger Tai said...

Hmmm, I didn't notice anything wrong with your attitude!

And as a person who eats out frequently by myself...well, I do tip 15%+.

At 3:43 PM , Blogger DrinkingTea said...

Why is it that anyone can rant about their job except for people in food service? And why don't people get that a behind the scenes rant is not in any way, shape, or form (in the vast majority of cases) indicative of the level of service that person provides? Waiting tables was the most stressful job I've ever had. Yes, you can and do let it go, leave your problems at the door, blablabla, but when you don't have a chance between blows to recover, you might become a wee little bit irritable and might want to get that out of your system. Yet, even if you get it out of your system someplace outside the restaurant, you're a baaaad person. But it's okay to be an irritated accountant. Or a pissed off lawyer. Or a frustrated security guard.

If a person is being treated as an emotional punching bag and dares to show displeasure about it, they are seen as the ones with the problem if they work in food service? If a secretary, warehouse laborer, or someone in human resources - all jobs I have had in addition to waiting tables - complains about how people treat them when it is pretty clear that they are doing their jobs and doing them well and with an apparent good attitude, the listener is more likely to respond with, 'Oh, that's a toxic environment, you should get out,' or 'Can you afford to change jobs?'

Alas, if you are a food service employee, the responses is 'Get a real job' or 'Good service is not about money' or some other bit of crap. The only other position I ever held where being treated like crap and then being blamed for it was par for the course was teaching.

At 5:07 PM , Anonymous stove said...

Personally I don't feel your attitude is shitty enough for someone who calls himself insane. Let's here about you Visine-ing some fuckhead, right after you remove all the t.p. from the bathroom!

At 6:08 PM , Anonymous Anonymous said...

It is Soooo easy to get you going!

At 9:41 PM , Blogger Raven said...

I know this post is old, put I had to comment. I love your site. I just had an experience yesterday where my steak came out of the kitchen cold. I mentioned it to the server, she got me a new one. She comped me the desserts. I made sure then I tipped I tipped 20% of what the bill would have been had she not comped the desserts. It wasn't her fault. Keep up the great work...maybe it's educating a few epople out there.


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