So tomorrow is Mother's Day!
In addition to thanking my own Mother for all she's done for me I would like to thank the following...
The table of eight that refused to pay the gratuity three years ago, after all why would one want to tip on "their special day."
I'd also like to thank my chickenshit manager for letting them stiff me on their $140.00 bill.
Thank you to my former corporate restaurant that I worked at five years ago for overstaffing the restaurant and giving me a three table bar/smoking section that I made a full $45 on for the day.
I'd also like to thank the rube/white trash crowd for allowing their children torture the staff.
This includes the following:
Throwing of cheerio's, goldfish, saltine crumbs and anything else that destroys my section.
Dumping the contents of the parmesan caddy on the table.
And playing hide and seek under the other partons' tables.
Thank you to the 324 people that have yelled at me in the week leading up to "their special day" for not having space for their reservation.
Thank you for making ninety seven trips to the breakfast buffet and not tipping, even though I have to set up the buffet, help restock it, fill your drinks, order your omelets, tally your bill and of course, clear the landfill of plates that inhabit your table.
After all, you did get your food yourself, why tip me when you did all that hard work such as putting 14 oz. of gravy on your potatoes so thanks for stiffing me on your bill. I know that waddle through the line was the equivalent of a trip through Mogadishu, but get over it.
I'd also like to thank the groups that complain to the management about how horrible everything was, just so they can get a free dinner voucher or gift certificate to give as a present to their mother.
As well I greatly appreciate every table that camps out as we have scheduled seatings and a limited amount of time to get all of our reservations in.
Thank you also, all you walk-in tables that demand seating immediately, you will never get it as long as I walk the Earth.
God know I also love the fact that you think you deserve free kids buffets/meals, free meals for your mother and free desert as well.
After all it is "our special day", why would a business actually expect payment for goods and services...
And last of all I would like to thank God, who for some enlightened reason allows me to not work this Mother's Day.
The first time in six years.
Remember that your server also is a Mother, Daughter or Son and they can't be with their Mother, so be easy on them.