"We all want Diet Cokes," the lady said while pointing to the other guests.
Great, someone that thinks they're the spokesperson for the table.
I hate Alpha's.
"Except that I want two, TWO, lemons in mine," the lady continued, "my husband wants one lemon AND one lime."
"Also my friend will have two lemons as well with her diet and a lime with her water and her husband wants no lemon in his Diet, but one on his water instead." She blathered.
I smile and nod and find my way to the kitchen.
One of the waiters, Chad, stops me.
"I see you have the Johnsons." He said.
"They're friends with the owner, and they tip like shit." He snickered.
Great start to the day I thought to myself as I grabbed a handful of lemons and limes and threw them into a bowl.
If they want to order their fucking Diets eight different ways they can sort it out themselves.
Upon dropping their fruit basket on the table I received a familiar request.
"Where's our bread at?" The Alpha barked.
"A piece will come with your dinner, now if you'll excuse me..." I moved on to my next table.
"Folks would you care for something to..." I started.
"We've been ready to order." The lady to my right interrupted.
Great, another Alpha, I just know that thirty second wait for me to come over and be at her beck and call was almost to much for her to bear.
"I want the Cobb salad and you WILL give me extra bacon and you WILL give me extra tomatoes and you WILL give me extra bread with it." She rattled off snidely.
Her snippy blond friend came next.
"I want the same thing, except..."
Now comes the good part.
"Except I don't want blue cheese dressing, but you WILL give me Parmesan, on the side, and I want no bacon and no tomato." She said.
So you want the exact same thing, except everything changed even more.
I finish their orders and begin to walk off.
"Excuse me! Excuse me!" Alpha #2 shouts.
"Yes miss?" I respond.
"We also want three Diet Cokes, with lime." She said.
"Of course," I said...
The rest of the day went similarly, there must have been some sort of assertiveness convention in town.
"The Seven Habits of Highly Pretentious People"