The Insane Waiter

Running wild on customers, chefs, owners and managers since 1997. I bring to you, The Insane Waiter. What do bring to your table? A crisp bottle of San Pellegrino ? Perhaps a lovely seared Sashimi Tuna? Start off with a wonderful bottle from Tuscany perhaps? Why I'll be more than happy to bring you your White Zinfandel and Chicken Caesar. No you can't order the mac and cheese off the kids menu and sorry no, we don't serve cheese sticks....

Saturday, June 28, 2008

The Grat

Normally I’m a big fan of the service charge on a party. This ensures that I get paid for my time and I apply it blindly, regardless of color, age or sex.

I’ve known people that apply “the grat” on only tables that are women, or only tables that are black.

Not I.

I also know servers who never use it, preferring that their good service earn them a tip, perhaps a better one than the service charge would leave them.

Myself, I believe that I have forged a bit of a work ethic and thus take the safe money, however I do make sure I earn it and don’t rest on my laurels.

Usually its just business for me, but every now and then I do take a little bit of joy in applying “the grat.”

This is because I can read people very well, its part of my job, and I can also read when a table is going to leave a shitty tip.

So I hit the 20% button and out goes the bill and the magic of technology turns a shitty tipper into a good tipper.

I feel happy.

They feel confounded, after all 10% on a party of twelve is more than fair, at least in their minds.


At 10:42 AM , Anonymous Anonymous said...

I know I'm not everybody, but I tip well over what the service charge would net you if the service is good. However, if the waiter/waitress applies a blanket gratuity, they don't get anything extra from me. Sorry, I understand there are jerks in this world, but it's just my little way of "fighting the system."

At 4:30 PM , Blogger Ex-Restaurant Manager said...

Back in "the day", when I was a server, this was our version of Vegas. You read the table and hope that you made the right decision whether to auto-grat or not. It turned out 50-50, so after a while I just auto-gratted them all. It's less stressful and some would give you extra cash anyways.

At 6:41 AM , Anonymous Anonymous said...

and dont forget the JACKPOT tables those whom should know better and tip on top of the grat and your pretty sure they they didnt intend to pay double the grat.

I personally feel its rude to pick up the check presenter until the guest leaves and if Im not present the minute they leave you cant always check with them before they go that their intention was to pay double.

And yes Springs1 if she reads this will FREAK the hell out and call me a thief BUT I look at it this way -it makes up for the shit tippers I have gotten when I didnt autograt and played the odds and lost. Two, any person who know well enough the system to tip well know parties beginning of 6 or 8 + will be grat'ed. Three my place has a sign on the front of the hostess podium with 2 signs 1 for the grat policy and 1 stating no incomplete parties will be sat. And if they cant read a sign with 2 inch high letters it also is on the menu.

At 7:18 PM , Anonymous Anonymous said...

god, i'm having so much fun reading your blog.
customers can be annoying bastards sometimes...
this makes for a good read.
here's to better tips in the future.

At 7:15 AM , Anonymous Anonymous said...

I worked in a place where we weren't allowed to add the gratuity. One Saturday night, my entire section was taken up by a family celebrating a birthday. They had cocktails, selected good wine, and ordered some of our most expensive entrees. Things ran smoothly, they were easy to wait on, and had a good time.

When it was time for the check, old Uncle Harry insisted on paying (their tab was close to $600). He paid with a credit card, wrote "cash" on the tip line, he got up to leave, thanked me profusely, and palmed me a twenty.

I soon found a new job where I could add 18%- call me crazy, but I like living with a roof over my head.

At 4:19 PM , Blogger Cricket said...

When I was serving, they started requiring us to grat 8-tops and up, so it's not always the server's choice, anon.

We had the option of adding grat to checks with a comp (employees and police) after a while, but I started doing that universally when I got screwed by a 6-top of servers; the servers were drunk and in the bathroom, and their spouses paid and left me 10% of the comped total.

At 8:15 PM , Anonymous Anonymous said...

Marcus has taught you well my little buddy. Still trying to train the whole world are you?

J.P. and Thom

At 11:30 PM , Blogger The Server said...

Yeah I always grat. no mater what. why risk it? its not like the table will leave you more if you dont grat. I dont care how rich, trashy, or black, white, asian, or whatever i always grat. i have never had anyone complain about it so i guess i must be doing something right.

At 9:29 PM , Anonymous Anonymous said...

I worked at a hibachi restaurant for 2 years, our policy was to grat at 6+, which i LOVED to do since half our tips went to the chefs! Skip ahead several years and I get this new temp job at a local mexican food restaurant where full plates are 5.95 a pop and a 8-top can order drinks, food, desert and ritas and walk off without spending a bill. We have to get PERMISSION to grat at this place...seriously when a 20% at a 2-top IS actually 2 bucks... once the summer rush was over I was out of there like you wouldn't believe. In fact Sunday is my last day i cant wait!

At 1:43 AM , Anonymous Anonymous said...

What restaurants let you add gratuity without permission? Seriously. Any chain restaurants? I want to work at one...

To be honest, I would be the server that only gratuities 6+ parties, black people, foreigners, women and teens. But I serve in one of the worst cities in the worst state, so it would help me make better money. You might say get another job, but I'm from MI...there are no other jobs.


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