The Insane Waiter

Running wild on customers, chefs, owners and managers since 1997. I bring to you, The Insane Waiter. What do bring to your table? A crisp bottle of San Pellegrino ? Perhaps a lovely seared Sashimi Tuna? Start off with a wonderful bottle from Tuscany perhaps? Why I'll be more than happy to bring you your White Zinfandel and Chicken Caesar. No you can't order the mac and cheese off the kids menu and sorry no, we don't serve cheese sticks....

Sunday, September 14, 2008

Line of the week

After a hard shift waitstaff everywhere gather for a solemn moment.

No, not the debauchery of blow, whiskey and "the grass"

That comes later.

The after shift meal.

That is unless a table comes in late in the shift, the moment after I ring my food in (happens 100% of the time)

Well, we were gathered for our hard earned meal when a couple from the patio walked past.

"Oh! I see they let the help eat!?" Exclaimed the lady of the couple.

Yes, they "let" us eat, we just don't go recharge in the closet after we fetch you your third martini.


At 10:01 AM , Anonymous banquet manager said...

Next time kick their asses back out to the patio. Take care.

At 2:48 AM , Anonymous Erin said...

This made me laugh more than you'd expect. Reminds me of the time I got a call at the diner-style restaurant I worked at one day. At 11:15am on a Wednesday, we got a call from a guy who informed us (didn't ask or see if it would be an inconvenience or if it was even possible...) that he was about to bring in about 50 kids/parents from his baseball team and he'd be there at 11:45. He told me to "go ahead and round up some more waitresses so we don't have a to wait long to order 'cause we're in a hurry". Yeah, let me go get the backups from the storage room, dude. Luckily I worked at a place where I could actually tell him "Well, sir, we'll seat you when you get here IF there is space, no we aren't holding tables for you during the lunch hour(s), and there are only three servers working today and without prior notice there are no more available so that will have to do but we'll do our best. Thanks.".

P.S. We served them, got them all tables, and got them all eaten and out by 1pm. The coach (dude who called) was a total rude asshole and complained that it all took too long and that we hadn't accomodated his large party by not having enough staff. He tipped $15 on the entire party- had it split 3ways. Thanks man.

At 2:58 AM , Blogger Masquerade said...

Uuuuuuuugh I hate people like that! They're just so ridiculously ignorant!!!

Our restaurant has a rule NOT to split checks with parties over five, and adding the gratuity with parties of 8 or more. It's a good rule and MOST people are totally fine with it. Then again there are the people that ask 'Why can't you split checks? How hard is it to write *cheese pizza* on one slip and their order on another?' I think next time I get an asshole customer like that I'll invite him to go back to the kitchen and place the order himself. The NICE thing is that with every asshole there is an apologetic wife/husband/friend/daughter/sister/etc. nearby to make things a bit calmer. :)

At 9:33 PM , Blogger Angela said...

you must work at a fancy restaurant. The one I worked at for three years had no such thing. Shifts ended at different times, and only on Sundays were there more than 5 waitresses working at a given time. Then again, I worked at a truckstop in an itty bitty tiny podunk Iowa town.

At 8:27 AM , Anonymous Kris said...

I wish we had a shift meal. I eat my "meal" standing up in the wait station in between taking care of customers. And I still have people who will catch a glimpse of me and say "oh, they feed you?"

Bite me. I pay half price for that food you saw me eating on my 11 hour shift. It's taxed, too. Go away.

As for recharging in the closet - my boss was cooking Friday night and was being such a fucker that I would have walked out if it hadn't been just two of us on the floor. I wrote a ticket wrong (we use a number system, but hand written tickets) and he got all uppity with me. I told him that as soon as he found robots cheaper than his underpaid front end staff (who serve/run food to three damned dining rooms, take cash, bus tables AND do our own damned dishes)he wouldn't have to deal with human error ever again.

At 8:29 AM , Blogger Just Me said...

Oh, wow...I guess I'm still pissed off at him, huh? LMAO

At 8:43 AM , Blogger Angela said...

Rock on Kris!

At 8:29 PM , Anonymous Anonymous said...

Yeah for real. Servers are people that have to eat like every other person. Deal with it, customers! And yes, we usually have to pay for it like you do, jeez.

At 10:18 PM , Anonymous Anonymous said...

Yup, they let us eat.
On occasion, they even let us pee in the toilets.

At 4:11 AM , Blogger Youngblood said...

It never ceases to amaze me how it's the same sh*t everywhere. I just started my own little "web-log". 'queue shameless self promoting'

At 1:49 PM , Anonymous grafxgurl said...

thats insane!. how can they not know this!!???

*hello. first time here.*

At 9:28 PM , Anonymous Chris said...

"They let the help eat!?" I can almost imagine the sound of (genuine) incredulity in her voice.

This post made me laugh! Thanks. =]

At 2:22 PM , Anonymous Ian said...

No real manager would stand for someone talking to his staff that way.


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