The Insane Waiter

Running wild on customers, chefs, owners and managers since 1997. I bring to you, The Insane Waiter. What do bring to your table? A crisp bottle of San Pellegrino ? Perhaps a lovely seared Sashimi Tuna? Start off with a wonderful bottle from Tuscany perhaps? Why I'll be more than happy to bring you your White Zinfandel and Chicken Caesar. No you can't order the mac and cheese off the kids menu and sorry no, we don't serve cheese sticks....

Wednesday, August 24, 2005

Left Out...

One Saturday at the beginning of the rush I was up our bar hanging out chatting about the latest restaurant gossip and all, and I witnessed one of the great moments in bartending history.

A server order came back for a six top.

White Zin, of course.

Well as the barkeep scoffs at the order he notices the request for ice in one of the glasses.

He complies of course and the drink is in the server's hand and out the door.

About two minutes pass, and he has a little visitor.

A smoking little thing in a red number slinks up to the bar, two glasses of white zin in hand.

She's hot and she knows it.

The bartender is a veteran, he has the thousand yard stare.

He knows and advisary by sight.

"Sir, my friend ordered her glass of wine and it isn't as full as mine!" The little tart speaks.

"And she feels left out..."

The barkeep shakes his head,"well I put ice in your glass, that's why its full."

"Well I know that, but can't you fill hers up?"

"Does she want me to put ice in it?"

"No, she just wants it full."

"She has the proper pour, if you want me to fill it up I'll have her charged for another glass," replies the veteran with steel in his eyes.

The blond looks confused, this isn't going as planned...

She's hot, and her looks aren't getting her anywhere for the first time her little mind can remember.

The bartender doesn't care what she looks like.

He sees her for what she is.

Another freeloader.

She tries the pouting angle...

"But, my friend...She feels left out."

With resolve, the answer is, "I don't care."

The seduction in her eyes turns to cold anger.

It's amazing how a beautiful woman can become so ugly so fast.

With the hate burning in her eyes she said and I quote...

"You're not a very happy person, are you???"

One word was spoken as the bartender turned and walked away.



At 10:24 AM , Blogger Revan said...

LOL... too funny.. Came across your blog via WaitorRant... yours is pretty darn good....

At 3:59 PM , Blogger indigowhite said...

Ahh!! Moments like these! That's what keeps me from not ommiting suicide right there in the bar. I live for those moments. /Bartender, Sweden

At 4:18 PM , Blogger pirateboboneverything said...

great blog......

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At 4:57 PM , Blogger First Year said...

Great site, I got here via waiterrant. I have little tolerance for white zin drinkers to begin with, especially when you've spent a considerable amout of time describing various light bodied white wines to them to begin have them turn around and order that $7 glass.

At 4:58 PM , Anonymous Anonymous said...

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At 10:44 PM , Anonymous Kate said...

I found your blog via bitterwaitress, you rock! You are so eloquently express all that is so wrong with serving. Fortuntely I work in Australia, so we don't have to rely on tips but my pet hate is getting treated like I'm an idiotic animal. I'm waitressing because I'm paying my pay through med, and yet people make an assumption that I'm stupid. I feel that I have far more pleasant manners and just plain respect for my fellow human being than the majority of the people that I wait on.

At 7:38 AM , Blogger wu-wei said...

bro, that is the mint shit. i dream of having the opportunity to make those moves. happens precious little these days. nothing like slaping down a pretty little butterfly who's using her body to get ahead. grls like that need a spanking

At 7:48 PM , Anonymous grazza said...

absolutely fan fucking tastic. I used to dream of scenarios like that, but I never had the balls to follow it through.

found your site through waiterrant, now ive got two fave sites.

At 7:24 AM , Blogger Kathleen said...

Brilliant...isn't it amazing how everybody hates people like that and they have no clue?


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