The Insane Waiter

Running wild on customers, chefs, owners and managers since 1997. I bring to you, The Insane Waiter. What do bring to your table? A crisp bottle of San Pellegrino ? Perhaps a lovely seared Sashimi Tuna? Start off with a wonderful bottle from Tuscany perhaps? Why I'll be more than happy to bring you your White Zinfandel and Chicken Caesar. No you can't order the mac and cheese off the kids menu and sorry no, we don't serve cheese sticks....

Thursday, November 17, 2005


Wow people it's just a JOKE!!!

And to those that claim they will tip crappy after reading that top 10 and blame me...

Maybe you're the type of people that resemble those stereotypes in the first place.

Blame your crappy tip on yourself, not me or your server.

Just cause you already are cheap and felt called out by that post means only one thing, you need an excuse to feel justified in your actions!

This in no means reflects on most of the commenters, only the two that .come to mind


At 3:27 PM , Anonymous Anonymous said...

Nephew Dude:

You tell 'em!


Uncle R.

At 4:41 PM , Blogger Beth said...

Aw, some people can't take a joke.

I've been a waitress for three years to get myself through college but water drinkers don't really bother me. And I highly doubt that all these people are getting horrible service just for ordering water. Maybe you aren't the nicest guests? I'll run my butt all over the place for a table who treats me like a decent human being and is fun. Whereas if you're a table that is sour, treats me like "the help", or doesn't want anything to do with me, screw them! What you order does not go into my service at all.

And getting waters for people definitely isn't a bother but I HATE! absolutely can't stand HATE entire tables who order drinks AND a water. Then never even touch the water.

If you drink it, go for it. If it's going to sit there and waste my valuable time getting 8 drinks for four people and clearing all that crap off for nothing, I'm going to be pissy.

Otherwise, if you felt you have to defend you're tipping or vent about being "treated badly for ordering water" you are probably a crappy tipper, don't eat at very good restaurants, or are a poor guest. Sorry for the truth!

At 4:48 PM , Blogger Nattie said...

It's you blog, write about whatever the hell you want!

I'll probably still read it :)

At 5:14 PM , Blogger Denise said...

At my place of business, there are water glasses on the table already, so it's not an issue.

In my experience, you'e getting a shitty tip when.....

1. The guests go on and on about how great you've been, how they've had a wonderful experience and yadda yadda. AKA "the verbal tip". As soon as someone begins heaping the compliments, I'm thinking, " OK, we've got a ten-percenter here."

2. When the guests run your ass off and say, "Don't worry, we're going to leave you a huge tip!" Again, think "ten-percent or less".

This doesn't make me feel the need to be rude; rudeness will not get the point across to them and will only give them ammunition. However, a repeat customer who continues to tip shitty will get adequate service. I'll see to it that everything is as they want it but I will not bend over backward when I know they'll just take it for granted.

At 5:15 PM , Blogger K Tana said...

I have read many an article on evil servers and crappy restaurants and lumping all elements into one pot. God forbid we generalize and have a laugh at the customers expense. Put down your water, drink a glass of wine and relax it's a joke.

At 6:04 PM , Blogger Denise said...

Oh, yeah...."We're in a hurry" never means anything except "we want attention now". I never believe people who say that.

At 7:47 PM , Blogger K Tana said...

and then they sit for 45 mins. with the check infront of them. My advice come earlier or have a doctors note. lol

At 8:32 PM , Blogger Beth said...

I hate when people say they're in a "huge hurry" when I'm swamped only to sit there for forever and a day. Mostly middle aged women on lunch. Stay there as long as you want, just don't rush me around to get your check if you're going to lounge there.

At 9:21 AM , Anonymous Ms.Cherie said...

I am a very good tipper when it comes to great service. The one thing that annoys me slightly, is when I tip 30%-50% and it is not aknowledge by the server. There has only been 1 time when a server actually said 'thank you, that was very generous' Is it a secret server code not to be gracious/appreciative when appropriate?
Mr. Insane, I love your blog, I am very entertained by it (you) However, I'm looking for you.... I would love for nothing than to be served by you. I am truely hopeful we can fill each others expectations. I am usually a very cheerful, witty and thankful customer. I do not think myself 'above' anyone else.
What do you think....are you up for a friendly challenge? Man enough to hint to me your establishment?

At 11:03 AM , Blogger K Tana said...

This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

At 11:06 AM , Blogger K Tana said...

I think you raise a very good question. I know that in most places if you feel you are not compensated properly it is against the rules to confront the customer. For the place I work at we are not allowed to comment either way. I had a fellow leave me $100 tip on a $40 check. My boss said i was not to say anything. But it was sooo very generous. I did happen to see him at the grocery shop and commented then. ms.cherie it is always appreciated even if the words aren't spoken directly to you.

At 11:07 AM , Blogger Sketchy said...

If you're a repeat customer and you
repeatedly get "adequate" service, you can bet your a "crappy tipper".
If you are a repeat customer and you always get the "new hire" waiting on you, you can bet you're a "crappy tipper". Hey! There's a post suggestion for you, Secret!
"You know you're a crappy tipper when...."

At 3:06 PM , Anonymous Anonymous said...

response to Ms.Cherie,

Honestly, when I get a huge tip like that, it comes at the end of the meal when everything is taken care of. You as the server said your thank you's and compliments. Everythings perfect and the last thing you want to do is screw up the guest experience now that they have been generous. Since the tip is sometimes an awkward subject, its the last thing you want to bring up to a guest. Usually, I just get a buisness card with my name on it, slip it to the table and tell them thanks one last time. Dont want to mess up an experience that is already outstanding.

BTW ... ever notice that when you bring up a discussion on tipping or on signs that your not going to get a tip...that suddenly there are thousands of people, who all drink water (with lemon and sugars please) who tip 20% - 30%. Where do all these people live, is what I wonder. I think maybe there is a remote town in Alaska where if you wait on a table and they order self-made lemonade...woo hoo your getting a Huge TIP.

Just cruising by,



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