The Insane Waiter

Running wild on customers, chefs, owners and managers since 1997. I bring to you, The Insane Waiter. What do bring to your table? A crisp bottle of San Pellegrino ? Perhaps a lovely seared Sashimi Tuna? Start off with a wonderful bottle from Tuscany perhaps? Why I'll be more than happy to bring you your White Zinfandel and Chicken Caesar. No you can't order the mac and cheese off the kids menu and sorry no, we don't serve cheese sticks....

Wednesday, June 28, 2006

When it Rains

So I'm sitting here at a public library with this short update.

When they say when it rains it pours it screwed me up literally this time.

Storm knocked out my computer, again...

And besides that just about everything that can go wrong has in the last week or so.

Got back with the girl from "Love, Lost"

Poured my heart out to her, then...

Got dumped by her.

Was unable to work for two weeks so no income.

Behind on college class for the summer.

Received my first real income tax return as a waiter/bartender...

Ever.

And promptly saw my plans for a 36" HDTV trashed as I cut checks for bills that I would have paid with my income, if not for me being unable to work.

The this weekend, right in time to go back on the floor, I rolled my ankle and somehow pinched a nerve in my hip so I can barely walk with this baseball sized bump on my ankle.

Not a good thing when I'm on my feet for 10-12 hours a pop.

So I decided to play through the pain.

To walk it off.

Went through my first lunch shift, barely.

Of course on the way home some Haitian immigrant has to rear end me and wrench my neck and back out of place, no English, it was all clicks and whistles to me and no insurance of course.

I'll be ok and so will be my ride, but I spent this morning hobbling around like Quasimodo while irate office bitches wondered why I was taking so long getting their Arnold Palmer's.

So in other words I'm one pissed off camper.

So pretty much no update this week, I'd take my computer in, but I can't afford to for a couple weeks as I have about $17 to my name now.

Good night, and good luck and I'll be back as soon as possible, no "Server Stories" like absence, be free to leave great comments such as "Get a real job" or "The world needs ditch diggers too"

32 Comments:

At 4:51 PM , Anonymous Anonymous said...

what about the one girl that got away. You know the one that will buy your dinner and listen to you whimper like a puppy that just pissed on someone leg and got kicked. She's just like pudding (MYTI FINE)

 
At 5:34 PM , Anonymous bam said...

damn hon, i hope things start turning around for you... i'd like to say you should stay off the floor for a bit, but i'm in the same industry and know that its virtually impossible. aah to have health coverage and a stable salary....


take care.

 
At 7:17 PM , Anonymous Anonymous said...

OH MY... you poor thing. Miss your posts, take care of yourself.
Cathleen

 
At 7:23 PM , Blogger irishlucky said...

just think...maybe (someday) this will be story to tell the young whippersnappers as they jeer at the sheer impossibility of the situation. then you can show them the income tax returns. at which point they will gasp in awe, because their favorite uncle ... insane ... finally told them the truth -- because we all know that uncle insane had a tendency to stretch a tale, as only he could.

 
At 7:23 PM , Blogger irishlucky said...

atrfully, of course. always artfully.

 
At 8:29 PM , Anonymous Anonymous said...

Sorry to hear about your misfortunes...hope things get better soon!!!
Jenna

 
At 8:44 PM , Anonymous Anonymous said...

Get a real job. Now it's been said.

 
At 8:45 PM , Anonymous Anonymous said...

And oh yeah, the world needs ditch diggers too.

 
At 11:01 PM , Blogger KristieD said...

bummer man. hope you get to feeling better. i feel you on the whole being broke thing. i had some serious pain for a few months and had to stop serving (i now hostess for a HUGE paycut). turns out i have rheumatoid arthritis and it was a "bad flare-up". yae. i am too young for this crapola. I hope your ankle feels better and you get back out there soon!

 
At 11:26 PM , Blogger Beth said...

Sorry you're having a bad week! I love reading your blog and will happily wait for you next post so you can take a little rest!

 
At 11:37 PM , Anonymous Michaela said...

What a shitty week you've had! Hope it gets better soon :)

 
At 11:39 PM , Anonymous Anonymous said...

awww honey. lousy luck. I hope you get back in business soon, physically, and financially, and or course, romantically...

I love your blog!

x0x0x0x0x

 
At 11:40 PM , Anonymous Anonymous said...

"OF" course, not "or"

sheez, my first comment ever and I typo. ;^)

 
At 3:52 AM , Blogger caramaena said...

Ah, what a terrible time you're having of it.

As someone who works at an internet helpdesk, the first thing I tell relatives etc is unplug the computer if there's a chance of a storm. It's amazing how many computers/other electrical items are done in by them.

Hope things are looking up for you soon!

 
At 8:46 AM , Anonymous Anonymous said...

Now we know where it is that you work. Could it be the restaurant that was closed for two weeks because of a fire?

 
At 2:43 PM , Blogger dixiedarling said...

Feel better soon. I love reading this blog.

 
At 7:00 PM , Anonymous Anonymous said...

In time, this too shall pass. Meanwhile, get some Froot Loops,the universal food of joy. How can you be sad with Toucan Sam? Ice that ankle in 20 minute increments. Remember, real jobs are for conformist wussies.

 
At 8:46 PM , Blogger Brad #1 said...

Eh, go to a drug store and get an aircast for your ankle. Not only do they keep you from turning it again until it heals, but it massages your ankle, helping it get better.

Sorry to hear about your problems, but life will get better. Unfortunately, you have to hobble to the library to see all of these comments.

 
At 10:30 PM , Blogger espie joans said...

nothing personal... but your entry brought a smile to my face.

 
At 1:14 AM , Blogger Ospite said...

need a shoulder to cry on? you can't have mine, it belongs to my wife. But email me sometime, link's on my site. Ciao bene.

 
At 10:01 AM , Anonymous Anonymous said...

Your life sucks! That is all.

 
At 3:54 PM , Blogger i'llnevertell! said...

ahh waiter, i'm so very sorry for you. at least you didn't roll your ankle falling down a small incline with a tray of drinks in your hand, as i did. Nontheless, feel better soon, hang in their, all that jazz

 
At 11:02 PM , Anonymous Anonymous said...

Hugs and best wishes for a speedy recovery and a winning lottery number. Hang in there. It will get better. Promise!

 
At 12:14 AM , Blogger that one girl said...

I'm sorry about all your crap, darlin'.

I'll send you a good energy ball.

x

 
At 1:19 PM , Blogger espie joans said...

girl, you mean one of these: http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=speedball ?

 
At 3:49 PM , Anonymous Anonymous said...

Gosh, this is disturbing...how can all of you see this and not offer to help!!!
I know he didn't ask but gee whiz he entertains us so much and never asks for anything back...
happy 4th you bunch of cold hearted toads

 
At 1:39 AM , Anonymous Eustacia Vye said...

Hope your luck improves, man.

Money troubles, health troubles, and girl troubles all at once? Damn!

 
At 3:44 AM , Blogger irv said...

I'm sorry, this query is phenominally pointless, but haven't you been in the business for awhile? sorry to get caught up in all the IRS details.

ah, we in the biz with our no insurance, soft-sided ways (feel free to not sue the perpetrator of your demise as you know it will yield nothing of value) and no job security. I could go on and on and on and on....... but I shan't.

for what it's worth, all my homies in the blogosphere are experiencing 'everything that could possibly go wrong in their lives' this month; this appears to be a phenomenon like seasonal tornadoes.

stuff will look up. you're up to three, so you're done.

office bitches. don't get me started. that's why we in the biz refuse such employment. because that, my friend, would be us.

take care, take care, take care.

the money will return, the class can be re-taken, the tv can wait. ice and rest, ice and rest. and voodoo dolls for the office bitches.

 
At 3:48 AM , Blogger irv said...

.....and of course, for your ex.

how could I have omitted that?

 
At 1:59 PM , Blogger The Management said...

lf serving hurt sucks like cooking hurt does, it's pain i wouldn't wish on my enemies.

 
At 12:06 AM , Anonymous Anonymous said...

This might be a dumb question, but: in Oz, you can't (legally) drive a car that isn't registered, and part of the registration payment covers third-party insurance. That means that, if you run into someone, your insurance pays for their damages. It doesn't cover your own, but that's what comprehensive (read: expensive) insurance is for. Now: are you telling me that it's possible to get hit by someone in a car in the US and not have any provision for their insurance to cover your property and personal damage? Really? And people still drive there? Willingly? Now THAT's freaky.

 
At 2:24 PM , Anonymous Anonymous said...

To the Anon directly above:
In most states, it's illegal to have an uninsured car, but there are a few exceptions (The Insane Waiter probably lives in one such exception state) I agree, it's a BS system, I paid for insurance; ergo I should be covered if I get into an accident, simple as that. How that logic has evaded the people who make the rules in beyond me.

 

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