The Insane Waiter

Running wild on customers, chefs, owners and managers since 1997. I bring to you, The Insane Waiter. What do bring to your table? A crisp bottle of San Pellegrino ? Perhaps a lovely seared Sashimi Tuna? Start off with a wonderful bottle from Tuscany perhaps? Why I'll be more than happy to bring you your White Zinfandel and Chicken Caesar. No you can't order the mac and cheese off the kids menu and sorry no, we don't serve cheese sticks....

Wednesday, July 12, 2006


From the bitterwaitress...

"Never never never do the least bit more than what is expected of your job in this business. You will never get anything in reward and the only gratitude you may sense for superiors is not for you but that they found someone who would willingly overwork themselves."

Possibly the most relevant quote I've heard this month other than the old "hell hath no fury" one.

To my readers I know I've been slow on the updates but much change has been on my plate, you know the story, the girl that got away and broke my heart, crazy days at work and the unfriendly meeting that Jaeger-bombs and White Russians had in my stomach have kept me kind of withdrawn and quiet lately.

On the plus side injuries are starting to fade, although I think that Haitian woman may cause me to go to the chiropractor, at least I was wearing my seatbelt, and really there is one person that I can thank for that. So thank you.

"Blond Girl up the Street" here is your quote and my answer to your question...

"A bit off topic, but curious if you've ever experienced the following scenario... While presenting the desert tray to a table, you realize one of the items is missing. You assume that the kitchen has run out of the item and someone was actually on the ball enough to remove it from the desert tray. Two minutes later you bring entrees to a different table in your section, when low and behold, guess what's sitting on a B&B plate on their table??? The missing desert! This happened to me this evening. I'm not kidding. What kind of sick, ignorant jackass would do that? After questioning the kitchen staff, we determined that the desert tray was probably made yesterday, but more likely the day before. While pre-busing the table I notice that only crumbs remain on the plate that once held the desert. It was cheesecake! Yum, yum. Sincerely, The Blonde Girl Up The Street"

Well my beautiful and charming friend, The Blond Girl, I have a response...

Only an asshat would steal a moldy dessert off of a dessert display so I hope they receive food poisoning for their stupidity and cheapness.

And yes I have seen this before. Years back I worked for a chain BBQ joint in my rookie days as a waiter. They had a dessert display by the host stand. Typical hot fudge sundaes, bread pudding and shortcakes.

Well instead of using ice cream in the display, which obviously would have melted, they used scoops of butter for the mirage effect.

So one afternoon a family of trashy assholes came in and after they had eaten I see the PARENTS digging into the five day old desserts and shoving spoonful after spoonful of butter down their throats and their kids as well.

I bet they had the green apple splatters for a week, and much deserved as well.

Until next time friends!


At 2:10 PM , Anonymous Precious said...

Bitterwaitress is so right!!!!!!!!!!! I'm a bartender in Ohio and damn the supervisors everywhere who have found a sucker in me to do extra work. Never again!! Damn the man!!

At 11:47 AM , Blogger Brad said...

I practice a variation of that never doing more than the least expected thing, and that's to never leave more than 15% of the before tax total as a tip. Of course, if the service is really abysmal I'll leave less.

At 11:50 AM , Anonymous dd said...

I was lured to your site by waiterrant and am sad you are so bitter; and your commenters too! Being a "sucker" and losing your self respect and any conscience you may have had equals being a slacker to me. Take the high road and be the better person especially when others don't deserve it - otherwise you are just as bad and perpetuating the reason the "supervisors" are the way they are...cuz very few do more than bare ass minimum to get by. Really lame. Hope your life gets better and you all start TRYING. Nobody has it easy.

At 3:53 PM , Anonymous Anonymous said...

Well, that quote certainly defines YOUR PERSONAL work ethic, but my experiences (not in waiting tables) is exactly the opposite. The several waiters I know tell me that working hard puts them way ahead of their co-workers in income.

Waiterrant says the same, over and over.

You seem to desperately want to believe what she says to justify your own behaviour. Life doesn't work that way.

At 9:42 PM , Anonymous Ms. Cherie said...

Have you ever heard that old quote?
"Doing a good job around here is like peeing in a dark gives you a warm feeling, but no one ever notices"

At 11:12 PM , Anonymous a chiropractor said...

Well spoken. From all of us regular people, we thank you for being good at what you do.

At 7:17 AM , Anonymous Anon #6 said...

I'm just guessing here: I think the Insane post was talking about not going above and beyond for the bosses. Like when they ask you to do your side work without clocking in, or to do some hosting at your regular waitstaff pay.

It seems like some of the comments here are taking his post as, "Don't do anything extra for the customers."

So, Insane, which was it?

At 8:38 AM , Anonymous Anonymous said...

With everything happening in your life right now, I think you sound pretty good. You don't sound like you've given up, but you don't sound like you're ignoring what is going on.

I very much enjoy reading you, and I wish you much health and happiness.

Pollyanna is speaking here and she says that all things happen for a reason and all things will work out in a beauty way.

Keep the faith (whatever it is).

At 10:16 AM , Anonymous Suz said...

Sheesh! Lighten up folks. I'm sure he did mean not going overboard for the boss. Us servers know where our bread is buttered....there's no way he'd shortchange his customers because that would not be productive for him. In the foodservice industry (as in many others) there is always someone who doesn't show up, or work that got overlooked, etc, etc. Supervisors scramble to fill in the blanks, and having a big heart will get you burned out in a hurry.

Keep on keepin' on, Insane Waiter!

At 6:11 PM , Blogger briliantdonkey said...

Another great post. I dont necessarily agree with it or bitter waitresses assesment myself but it was an intresting read none the less. As someone who(depending on the day and which job)works as both a manager AND a bartender/server I can see both sides of the discusssion.

Anon #6 said...
I'm just guessing here: I think the Insane post was talking about not going above and beyond for the bosses. Like when they ask you to do your side work without clocking in, or to do some hosting at your regular waitstaff pay.

I agree with you that IS probably what IW meant about the post. I didnt get that same impression from BW and her quote though. I also agree that asking employees to 'do their sidework off the clock is wrong as well.' By the same token, technically, employees(and some servers are FAMOUS for this) coming in and helping themselves to a bowl of soup or salad without paying for it is just as wrong....TECHNICALLY. That said, if an employee comes in hungry and wants to get something to eat without paying 9.99 for it as a manager have no problem with it as long as they dont abuse it or get to where they EXPECT it. Same thing from a server perspective,,,,,if my manager wants me to 'do sidework off the clock' i personally have no problem with that either AS LONG AS THEY DONT TAKE ADVANTAGE OF IT
and grow to EXPECT it. It is a classic 'you scratch my back i will scratch yours' agreement. If the server who is constantly coming in 20 minutes late,begging to leave early, and generally doing a crappy job asks for a salad bar, he has much less chance than the guy that does a good job or puts forth more effort. If they want 'to run across the street to the store(and not bother to clock out) i am not going to lose a BIT of sleep over it. If i ask said employee to 'hey before you go can you take that trash out' and they throw "no sorry i am off the clock" in my face THEN i have to rethink that employee. One hand washes the other, what goes around comes around....whatever you want to call it. Things just work both ways is all i am saying.

At 6:34 PM , Anonymous Karl said...

The way I see it, if you think so little of your job that you can't give it your all, then you're in the wrong place. Likewise, if your employer thinks so little of you that he expects you to do sidework or attend meetings off the clock (with the exception of exempt or salaried employees) then it's a losing situaution and you should move on.

At 1:50 PM , Blogger Brad #1 said...

Heh, I just love it how everybody assumes that Bitterwaitress is a female.


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