The Insane Waiter

Running wild on customers, chefs, owners and managers since 1997. I bring to you, The Insane Waiter. What do bring to your table? A crisp bottle of San Pellegrino ? Perhaps a lovely seared Sashimi Tuna? Start off with a wonderful bottle from Tuscany perhaps? Why I'll be more than happy to bring you your White Zinfandel and Chicken Caesar. No you can't order the mac and cheese off the kids menu and sorry no, we don't serve cheese sticks....

Tuesday, September 13, 2005

BYOB

I hate BYOB...

Unless its at the titty bar that is.

The third and most annoying bring your own, the beverage.

At my old place people came down from the hotel with their own six-packs of Miller High Life and plunked down at the bar, and that was just the owner's brother.

The bartender had such a problem with it that he banned a few people.

One guy had a Heinekin, and was told to get rid of it...

He then bought one to make the barkeep happy, and turned up with the "full" bottle an hour later.

Claimed it was the same one, u're banned!!!

Which brings me to the newest problem, the cork fee...

I don't know who started this practice, but enough already!

Every place I've been charges $15, and believe me I've had my share of people freak out on this.

Of course they blame me for it, you know I set the policy around here, that's by I wear a sweat stained shirt and have to listen to your bullshit.

Would you bring a six pack to the bar because you don't want to pay the mark up??

No, its not allowed, you probably think the guy at the beginning was an ass for doing it, yet you do the same with a bottle of your finest...

Hell, many restaurants have introduced a no cork fee on slower nights to bring in business. Nothing like a long line of KJ Chardonnay and Beringer, all for free.

I've seen tables with as many as six bottles on them, and it's a four top. I'm really glad that you love the ambiance and all of our place, but I'm tired of waiting on people for nothing.

They hang out for hours, taking up my time, for a shit check average.

I just don't understand.

However the sickest thing I've seen, is a buck-fifty bottle of Silver Oak '97 that I had to open for nothing, when its on the menu...

I've seen Opus, Grange, Dom...

All the trendy mertage's, blends, Bordeaux's...

And no tip.

No boasting to my colleagues about my big sale, hell I'd rather them bring in their Beringer, at least its only six bucks...

Hell bring a bottle of the High Life for fuck's sake!

12 Comments:

At 10:56 AM , Anonymous Anonymous said...

You're an idiot.

On rare occasions, I bring a special bottle that the restaurant does not carry. I have no problem paying corkage.

It's not about not wanting to pay the markup asshole.

Why would anyone who hates his job so much continue doing this? What is it about waiters...every blog is "I hate my job; I hate my boss; I hate customers"??

P.S. Run a spell checker before you post.

 
At 11:28 AM , Anonymous Anonymous said...

Anonymous....You are the asshole. You chose to come on the site and read this person's blog. You know this blog is about the service/waiting industry. Yet, you choose to come here.

You said you don't have a problem paying the fee. Fine, then pay it. He isn't talking about you.

As far as hating jobs. I'm sure at times you hate yours. I teach. I love my job, but I hate certain aspects (people who thing they can teach better. Parents who blame teachers for their child's bad behaviour, etc.). Just because I hate those aspects does not mean I don't like my job overall.

By the way, waiter's make GOOD money. I pulled in more money for less time than I do teaching. Why did I leave then? Beacuase I actually HATED the ass kissing, butt wiping and everything else I had to do for the money. I would rather do a job I like and make less money than make money but be miserable all the time.

 
At 12:38 PM , Anonymous susan said...

...and beyond that Anon1, the post stated that these cheapskates were bringing in bottles that were on the restaurant's menu. A special bottle, I could see, and the corkage fee should go to the wait-staff, but bottles that could be obtained from the menu should not be brought in, and if someone tries it, the restaurant management should refuse corkage service.

 
At 12:55 PM , Anonymous Anonymous said...

With restaurants frequently marking up wine close to 100%, I just skip the wine when I go out. A resonable mark up makes sense and I will pay it but when the maangement doubles the retail price I buy a nice bottle and cook at home.

 
At 1:30 PM , Anonymous blahblahblah said...

I prefer the cork fee, in the hopes that it goes to the server. The reason I want to bring my own wine in is because most restaurants have plonk on the wine list, and if they do have good wine, it's way too young and they don't have a decanter to artificially age it in.

That said, if you've got good wine on the menu, and it has good age on it, then by all means, people should be buying it.

Except for the magnum of Quilceda Creek that I have stashed for my 20th anniversary...

 
At 3:26 PM , Anonymous Anonymous said...

The Cork fee goes to the restaurant, not the server

 
At 10:55 AM , Blogger The Server said...

And wine is a 4x markup, not double the price... get it right, people!

 
At 1:33 PM , Blogger Live For The Pen said...

Most places won't even let you bring in a bottle unless it's not on the menu.

 
At 6:44 AM , Anonymous EatMeWithASpork said...

hey insane server

I feel what you are saying and have been reading your blog.... mad propz
I find it amusing that the people who sit there and point out your venting just to criticize dont realize your point. Before people criticize they really should read the entire blog entry so they themselves dont enjoy the taste of hand pulled foot sauce in their mouths...

the cork fee is a wonderful asset to any waiter... I bent over backwards to those who showed the class that they represent. why the fork would a restaurant offer a no cork fee weekday .. that is a sign of management failure to the maximum

The business gets the clientele it deserves. However there is the guest that tries to sit in where they dont fit in..... we mark up our wine to make money cheapasses!!! why the fukk do you think we open our doors??? dipshit assholes that are too cheap ( or should i say price sensitive) expect the ambiance and service obvoulsly reserved for those who deserve it ( the paying customer)

personally if someone complained about the cork id uncork the bottle and shove ity down their corkhole.. maybe that would sht them up for once..

one more note to the IDIOT CUSTOMERS (not the decent ones)
the cork is a fee that must be charged for the on site establishment to allow offsite beverage to be consumed on premise
dont bitch at the people serving you.
contact your congressman and bitch at him
or better yet drink the bottle under the rock you came from dipstick

damn that felt good
now i can save the money i was gonna give to my crack dealer

 
At 4:01 AM , Anonymous Anonymous said...

splell checkquesl...scru u..pay the fee..gre8..does not every persin want a waitor to take care of them when they et out? you go out to et to get weated on rite? go out and hten cumplain about the cervice? how aobut this? worry less about the service and the wya peeple speel and then pay ur tip...I waited tables for years..I loved my customers. I took great care of them...nowadays people want something for nothing...and they want to stiff the waiter who has to pay other hospitality peeps out of his celery...he dont make much celery but steel pays out...he pays out the bus boy the bartender the hostess ....ever1...omg..and then ur worried about grammer and speeling...let me take care of your ass...come one to my table and see how i deal with you...i cant spot you a mile away...i have a nose for the fakers..the wannabes...

 
At 2:58 PM , Anonymous Anonymous said...

god, i am glad i live in a state where this is not allowed.

 
At 6:55 AM , Anonymous Anonymous said...

only a cheap ass douchebag even attempt to bring in wine already on the wine list AND you should refuse to open it IF it is on the list

 

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