The Insane Waiter

Running wild on customers, chefs, owners and managers since 1997. I bring to you, The Insane Waiter. What do bring to your table? A crisp bottle of San Pellegrino ? Perhaps a lovely seared Sashimi Tuna? Start off with a wonderful bottle from Tuscany perhaps? Why I'll be more than happy to bring you your White Zinfandel and Chicken Caesar. No you can't order the mac and cheese off the kids menu and sorry no, we don't serve cheese sticks....

Thursday, September 22, 2005

Do I Hate My Job?

Yes...

and no...

In recent posts I've noticed several people that I disagree with, not that it's a bad thing, but I decided to address some of the issues which are pointed out.

I've seen it on this site, and many others. Quotes like "You are always so angry and frustrated, and really need to get a new line of work, or a new perspective."

It always comes down to get a new job, get a new job. You don't like getting a paycheck with 2 bucks an hour, get a new job...

You don't like assholes...

Get a new job.

You don't like stupid people...

Get a new job...

Here's why I don't.

I'm putting myself through school right now, part time albeit, but what else can I do to make a living wage? Or that allows me to make this kind of money with the flexibility I have for classes?

Nothing.

At least nothing that pays more than eight bucks an hour, try paying rent, car payment, insurance, phone, internet, etc, ect, ect, on that kind of pay.

What do I love about my job?

I guess I've pointed out what either annoys me, or yes, hate about my job...

I love the hours...

I can go out nearly any night I want, sleep in, and still make it for my shift or class, try doing that working 9-5...

I love my fellow co-workers, and most of them would agree with my thoughts on here, some of them are my readers...

Hell I love my current owner/managers, I DO have a new gig that I enjoy, compared to where I've been its heaven.

And yes, sometimes I have a great night, I'm a great server, and can make sick amounts of money in a single day. Hell probably more than a fair amount of my customers make I dare say.

"Wanting to clobber someone with a door who is paying your salary is wayyyyy beyond bitching."

Is it really??

When I get hit with a door and lose an entire six tops worth of food, look like an ass, have the cooks bitching at me, and on top of it lose my tip...

All because someone is an ignorant ass, is that really out of line?

"this is more than bitching...It's deep seeded."

Maybe it is, that's my problem, not yours Freud.

"I once kicked a door out to serve and hit a guy in the face...It was nice. "

Awesome, some people get it. Better you than me.

"But this and other waiter blogs do NOTHING BUT bitch."

Of course we do.

Many people want to believe we're there for them....

A ballet of graceful and subservient staff, ready to make their life easier...

And they're partly right, but if you think being an asshole to someone to either boost your own ego, or to gratify your sense of self entitlement, is cool...

Then think again.

Read through my posts if you want, some are little things which irk me, however most are very real complaints.

Think I bitch? Go to the bitterwaitress.

See what THOUSANDS of my fellow servers think.

And if you don't think the Waiterrant isn't sick of a lot of this shit, maybe you need to re-read more of his posts.

I love his blog, and read every post, but make no mistake, I may not be as good as him, and don't pretend to be.

I'm the Insane Waiter, that title should be self-explanatory.

So if you want to read about how much I enjoyed my day, how I love to wait on unreasonable people, how I love how servers are treated by owners/managers...

Well that would all be a lie, and not really entertaining either.

This Blog is for my therapy, maybe expressing myself is they way I do it rather than pay someone a $150/hour to hear me.

So love me or hate me, I'm here!

As the old saying goes, if you can find a better car, buy it!

But with me its all about the deal...

25 Comments:

At 6:14 PM , Anonymous Anonymous said...

Well said!! It's your blogg if some people don't like it, that's not your problem. Obviously they have never worked in the Food & Bev industry... it's brutal.

 
At 9:22 PM , Anonymous susan said...

...and beyond that, no-one's forcing anyone to read, if ya don't like it, th' door's that way, don't let it hitcha where the good lord splitcha.........

I see it as an honest expression of the frustration that is encountered daily by waiters everywhere, and a way, as a customer, to educate myself to be less of a pain and make a tough job a bit less difficult. (or pat myself on the back and say, I'd never....)

Seems to me that most of the complaints come from plain lack of courtesy on the part of customers, managers, and even co-workers. Stuff that everyone, everywhere deals with on some level. Maybe I'm a bit of a Pollyanna, but how much effort does it take to be polite and consider someone else anyway?

 
At 10:29 PM , Anonymous Meditrina said...

You hit the nail on the head, as usual. We all need a place to vent about the arrogant, thoughtless and inconsiderate constituents we deal with every day.

If I may be so presumptuous, I would like to add several of the reasons that I serve to your list.

First, every shift is like a human scavenger hunt. I consistently meet absolutely lovely people (along with the jerks). But the thankful, gracious people outnumber the jerks on most evenings. Last Sunday, I waited on an NFL player and his family after my hometown team kicked some A. An hour later, an adorable, sweet MLB pitcher came in and was a complete delight, monetarily, as a human, and not hard on the eyes either. Score!!! A grand slam, baby.

I also consider serving others as Godly. Waiting tables to some is considered menial labor, but there is nothing as gratifying as offering up a wonderful meal and an "experience" that my guests will not soon forget. And I get paid to make people happy, comfortable and to help them forget their day or their problems.

One of my coworkers pointed out that he played 68 rounds of golf this summer. What Doctor, lawyer, acct, or other "real" professional can make that boast?

Whatever your reasons to serve, do it with dignity! And feel free to vent whenever.........

 
At 12:19 AM , Blogger Kirsten said...

Hi!
I found your blog through Waiterrant (by clicking your name from a comment you left). Your blog is just as entertaining!

Keep up the good work, and just ignore those who come on here to critise you - I really don't see the point in continuing to read and going to the trouble of commenting if you don't like someone's blog - why not just move on to something else?

Have a great day!

 
At 1:00 AM , Anonymous Anonymous said...

Good Post. From a former critic whom you quoted...

 
At 9:19 AM , Anonymous Anonymous said...

I always wondered about people who were telling you to get a new job, too, I mean, c'mon, it's called the Insane Waiter!

That said, I have to admit that most of the restaurants I've worked in where there were issues with people standing in the doorway to the kitchen, or in the wait-station at the bar, were due to poor restaurant design.

I go to a deli now where you stand in line to order, move down the bar to pay, and then have to go back to where you ordered from to pick up your food. It's a clusterfuck at lunchtime, with groups of people crossing over each other, trying to get where they are supposed to be, no decent signage explaining what's going on.

So yeah, I stand back and watch frustrated customers, who are asking what the heck is going on, and the staff look like they’re all thinking, "WTF?" I think I'd blame the owner's and designers on that one, and not the ignorant customers..

And, of course, when I worked shucking oysters at a remote raw bar on a busy Saturday night in Annapolis, MD, and the place was freaking packed, and no one would freaking move, it was pretty pleasant to shove the muddy bus tub up against some drunk to get them to move... "Umm, dude, you've got oyster poop on your back."

Keep it up man, you tell good stories.

 
At 9:37 AM , Blogger Jia Li said...

right on! Hey I know the feeling, I served...I bitched..goo theaphy

 
At 10:33 AM , Blogger Revan said...

Isn't a blog meant for you to vent out your anger and frustration?

Ignore the dumbasses who think you are complaining about your job...

I love ya!!

 
At 11:07 AM , Anonymous Anonymous said...

I guess I just don't understand why anyone would take the time to register a complaint...why don't those people just not read the blog? Besides, it's not just the server industry that makes you hate all humans, it's customer service in general that does it. Facing the entitlement, irresponsibility, inconsideration and delusions of superiority in customers on a daily basis will make anyone feel frustrated at humanity. Don't understand? Get a job in the trenches if only for a few months. Ever worked at a busy coffee shop? Self-important business people taking out their inadequacies on you in their pre-caffeinated state. Work as a bank teller? More self-important assholes yelling insults at you that range from attacks on your intelligence to cracks about your appearance because they think you, the peon at the bottom of the ladder, is purposely not changing the rules of international banking procedures just to piss them off. Yeah, that’s what I want, an angry customer. We who ‘serve’ the public want nothing more that customers to be happy, it’s usually the customers themselves that sink that possibility. The fact is 95% of the population are idiots. As a result of this idiocy they can't see their own inappropriateness. But people don't like to hear this because then they think you mean they're part of that 95%-and if you write a comment like the ones The Insane Waiter is talking about, well, you probably are.

 
At 1:41 PM , Blogger Denise said...

I hear ya. I wouldn't say I hate my job, but I don't love it. The people telling you to just get another job sound like bored elitist cocksuckers.

I like reading server rants but rarely post my own experiences on my blog because, well, I spend eight hours a night at work. That's way more time than I want to spend thinking about the crap a server has to think about.

I can't take it home with me. But it's fun to read!

 
At 2:51 PM , Blogger Voodoo76 said...

Insane Waiter-

Thanks for the amusing ramblings. Along with you, Waiterrant and The Server, you all have inspried me to put some of my long-winded stories in a blog. Just what the word needs right?

Oh well. Here it is if you have time ot check it out.

Be well.

76
http://neverfar76.blogspot.com/

 
At 3:07 PM , Anonymous Anonymous said...

if your not in the businees you just don't get it.

 
At 7:41 PM , Anonymous Anonymous said...

i wasn't knocking the blog, or the rants or any of that per se..

i was trying to show that there are different ways to view the same situations, and unless you try to come out without being so super angry, you're gonna hurt yourself more than anything a dumb customer could do to you..
and then they would win.

i enjoy the blog and understand ranting.
i, too am in the business, and i get it.

all i was offering was a way for the insane waiter to come out on top.


everybody loves a critic don't they?
:)

(maybe i should have chosen a different time to voice my thoughts though...and not have it come off as a rant agaisnt your rants, since they seemed to all come at once.../my bad.)

 
At 10:25 PM , Anonymous Anonymous said...

JOE YOU SUCK GET A REAL JOB AT HOARI

 
At 2:48 AM , Anonymous Anonymous said...

Well, you scuk bitches!

 
At 3:22 AM , Anonymous theinsaneserver said...

Hey anon, who sucks, me? or an HOA flunkey, I'd rather server in heaven that reign in hell with you pathetic assholes, how'd you know it was me? my superior wit?

 
At 3:17 PM , Anonymous Anonymous said...

Hey, nephew H. E. J.!

Your "moms" (i.e., one of my sisters, for the information of your readers) said I'm not to blow your cover by referring to you by name.

So I'll just refer to you by your initials H. E. J.

Any way, you should hear the pleasure your 'moms' takes in giving me dramatic readings of your blogs when she and I talk long distance on the phone.

I think you're pretty fuckin' funny.

And, as I said to your 'moms': "The guy can write!"

I don't know anything about blog culture, so you'll have to enlighten me; if some readers don't like what you (and your sister) have to say on your blog sites, then why do they waste their time reading you all?

Also, the anonymous snipers of your blogs really come across as cowardly and chicken-shit to me. There are other blogs they could enjoy instead.

As you know, I was a waiter 29 years ago in my hometown and 28 to 26 years ago in my college town. When your 'moms' reads me your blog entries [postings?], I laugh because I'm reminded of some of my own experiences which remain vivid after all these years.

Once there was a lady with a knee length fur coat that she draped over the back of her chair as she was seated at one of my tables. By the end of the meal she was pretty tanked. During dinner, she had dropped her cigarette case beneath the table. After dinner she clicked on her cigarette lighter to illuminate the space beneath the table so she could see and retrieve her cigarette case. Well, the flame from her lighter ignited the hem of her fur coat and POOF! The whole fur coat immediately went up in flames and all the fur was singed [spelling?] off in a flash. In a FLASH! My whole section began to smell of singed fur. Meanwhile, in her husky, smoked stained voice she began to cry out in inebriated fashion, "Oh, God! My coat! My fur coat!" My manager was on the scene right away to attend to her. All the other diners in my malodorous section were moved to other tables and my section was closed for the night. My annoyance at lost turnovers and lost tips was tempered by my retreating behind the waiters' station and breaking out into gales of laughter at the absurdity of the scene. Even my manager, so solicitous to the loaded rich lady, came behind the waiters' station and burst into hysterical laughter. In those days I used to make $100 on weekend nights after tip pooling, so my manager took pity on me and gave me $50 from the petty cash and sent me home early that night after I finished with my exiled tables. I still laugh at this memory because the whole thing was so startling and unexpected, and because fortunately nobody was hurt.

Our cocktail waitresses used to carry bar drinks on a small round tray and would deliberately "dive bomb" sexually harrassing jerks by strategically turning the tray to a downward angle to spill one or more drinks onto the offending harrassers. Psuedo-gushing apologies on the part of the cocktail waitress would usually leave the drenched jerk caught off guard and disarmed. I clearly remember the names and appearances of the most skillful "diver bomber" cocktail waitresses.

These days, I usually tip generously and am patient when I know my server has been double or triple seated. Being diabetic, I go to different restaurants---Italian, Chinese, Mexican, etc.---for specific menu items. Many of the serving staff know my usual order by heart, and they take good care of me. If I live to be an old man of 99-years-old I'll never forget what it was like to wait on people.

 
At 9:53 PM , Blogger Sondra said...

Hey, I've been reading your blog for a while now and it pisses me off that a lot of people are commenting negatively. I like you, because you are honest and straight to the fucking point. Fuck the people who don't like it, and keep on writing. I just started a new journal here on blogspot, and as soon as I figure out how to, I'm going to put a link for this blog on my page. And even though it may sound like spam, I swear this isn't! LOL.

 
At 11:09 PM , Blogger Fairy in the Woods said...

fuckin A man! customers must eat shite and die!

 
At 8:09 PM , Anonymous Lisa said...

14 years in the industry made me hate people. When I realised this, I had to change careers, so here I am a 29 year old student, broke and really fucking happy about it.

I hear ya, and dude bitch all you want, because those who 'bitch' about it have the choice of not reading you. (didn't miss the irony)

 
At 10:26 AM , Blogger The Schooligan said...

You know, the internet is a big place, if people are sick of your "bitching", well, they can surely go somewhere else, no?

From One who Has Been In Your Apron.

 
At 4:42 PM , Anonymous Susan Carley Oliver said...

Oh, I love the bitterness! Please don't stop - I really groove on the schadenfreude. Part of it, honestly, is why sometimes one watches Judge Judy - it's great knowing that "at least I'm better than that loser!" It's a complete guilty pleasure.

If the job was truly unbearable - literally not bearable - you'd make something else work out. But we'd miss out on the truly amusing, interesting stuff you write.

I haven't read enough to know what you want to do with your BusAd degree, but your life experiences are going to be some good leverage for you. Much more valuable than someone fresh out of college at 22 (no offense to recent grads). Good luck!

 
At 4:02 PM , Anonymous Tina said...

Great post! It never ceases to amaze me how many people don't get that for a lot of people, like yourself, a blog is therapy, like a personal journal but in public form. Do they honestly think most people who keep personal journals write about how happy they are all the time???

I can't even begin to list the number of people with blogs I know, who get pretty much the same type of comments you get (and most of them aren't in the business, or even blogging about their jobs!). It all boils down to this...

No one's forcing you to read this, or any blog people, so if you don't like it...HIT THE BACK BUTTON!

 
At 1:46 AM , Anonymous Anonymous said...

I know I'm reading the old blogs but I have to say I love reading these. I run a privately owned small, great restaurant and reading these posts... I relate to every one. And after a bad night (like I had a man throw his sweat soaked linen in my face because he thought it was hot in the restaurant) it's nice to know other folk are just as annoyed, pissed off, and dealing with the things I do.

 
At 9:02 AM , Blogger nahidworld said...

If you are people-oriented and like servicing others, being a waitress can be a great job choice for you. There are four types of waitress jobs : buffet, catering, cocktail, and dinning.

 

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