The Insane Waiter

Running wild on customers, chefs, owners and managers since 1997. I bring to you, The Insane Waiter. What do bring to your table? A crisp bottle of San Pellegrino ? Perhaps a lovely seared Sashimi Tuna? Start off with a wonderful bottle from Tuscany perhaps? Why I'll be more than happy to bring you your White Zinfandel and Chicken Caesar. No you can't order the mac and cheese off the kids menu and sorry no, we don't serve cheese sticks....

Wednesday, September 14, 2005

Is Anyone There??

So I'm at our POS system today, slammed of course when I see a man peeking around the corner from the bar.

"Ya, isn't someone gonna help me?" The truly lost man spit out.

Sara, one of the waitresses goes to him,"the bartender will be right with you."

"Well I'm in a hurry, can't you take my order?"

"No"

So he proceeds to sit himself in her section of course, since he can't wait thirty seconds for the bartender to come up.

The gentleman then flags down another server and makes him take his order, again not his table but...

The server flags down Sara and gives her his order, a cup of soup and side salad, nice.

So I'm back at the POS station ringing in my eight top when someone taps me on the shoulder. I figure its a fellow server so I shrug it off, then they start grabbing my sleeve and tugging. I turn around with a fury, don't mess with me when I'm punching in orders.

It's him.

And He's pissed.

"Where's my soup?!?!"

"I don't know," is my answer.

"Well Can't you find out?"

Fuck him I think,"I'm not your server sir."

"Can't you find him?"

"I'm busy sir," I have about ten things to do, before I can even think about helping my OWN tables, let alone him.

"Well I'm in a hurry!"

Ya so am I!

And that was my response to him...

He grabs my arm again as I turn back to my work.

I slowly turn around.

"I don't like to be touched," I say as an evil leer crosses my face.

He backs up a step.

He broke my #1 rule, don't touch me, especially when I'm slammed.

Contrary to popular belief, I'm a server, not a servant, there is a distinction, ever so slight as it is.

Just then I see Sara coming with his soup and salad, he sees he can't mess with me.

He's one of the types that prefers messing with women, men his age think girls are weak, well this one isn't.

"I've been waiting forever," the red faced man starts,"I have a meeting!"

She stares him in the eye,"we're busy."

That's it, he sits down, eats,pays his bill, stiffs her, and is gone.

Don't touch me, and never interrupt your server, they are at work for others than just you.

BTW his ticket time I found out was a full 5 minutes, not bad when we're on a thirty minute wait at lunch with 20 minute ticket times...

8 Comments:

At 10:15 PM , Anonymous Anonymous said...

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At 1:53 PM , Blogger Live For The Pen said...

I hate spam.

Anyways, I have to say I like the blog, and agree with many things you say. Personally I make 2.13/hour. Which of course I don't ever see. I think maybe most people don't realise that. It's the only way I can explain the cc receipt with the "Great Service!!!" and 10% tip on it. at my last job I would show those to the manager (because there was an above average amount of them, which I blame on the average customer base, even though an average deuce had a 70$ ticket) I still averaged about 20$/hour there, but the amount of stress and frustration was so not worth it. So I found a nice Italian place with similar menu prices and less a reputation for craziness than good food. And now I'm more happy.

 
At 2:38 PM , Blogger Nattie said...

grrr....the whole people touching you thing would totally do my head in....why do they think that tugging at you like some impatient 4 year old is gonna make you serve them faster?

 
At 2:32 PM , Anonymous Anonymous said...

Ugh, why don't people like that just go to a fast food place?

 
At 8:36 AM , Blogger Kathleen said...

Some people are just assholes.

 
At 8:37 PM , Blogger justawaitress said...

I know I'm tired of getting poked, pulled, tapped, grabbed, and spit on...
The shit we put up with!

 
At 6:50 AM , Anonymous Anonymous said...

2 words covers it-->fucking asswipe

 
At 8:51 PM , Anonymous Anonymous said...

I love waiter blogs! Very entertaining

 

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