The Insane Waiter

Running wild on customers, chefs, owners and managers since 1997. I bring to you, The Insane Waiter. What do bring to your table? A crisp bottle of San Pellegrino ? Perhaps a lovely seared Sashimi Tuna? Start off with a wonderful bottle from Tuscany perhaps? Why I'll be more than happy to bring you your White Zinfandel and Chicken Caesar. No you can't order the mac and cheese off the kids menu and sorry no, we don't serve cheese sticks....

Saturday, January 14, 2006

Haters

Well I figured I'd take the time (I don't know why) to address all the waiterrant disciples that want to shit all over me for whatever reason.

You're called trolls on most message boards, I truly invite you not to read me.

You are pretty sad and pathetic if all you can do is come on here and say how much I suck without actually digesting the content or commenting on the issue that is addressed on the blog post.

Personally I think the commenters on Waiterrant are much better than the ones that I am addressing, as are those on Max Tucker and Blaggblogg.

If I am aweful don't read me, you are sad little people who think taking potshots on the internet make you a big person.

Piss off

I'll continue posting and those who wish to have their little internet fueds with me or the other posters can find theirselves on the end of a balls deep prison assault.

If I was so meaningless how come you bother to comment?

BTW go back to my very first post, the one and only comment on there is from Waiterrant.

"Welcome to the war"

He was here before all of you, get a grip and visit one of the other 6,000,000,000,000 blogs out there

41 Comments:

At 8:45 AM , Anonymous Anonymous said...

Did it ever cross your mind that Waiterrant and the others get better comments because they're better blogs?

There's something to be said for bad blogs too, like train wrecks or cheesey science fiction movies. We just have to look.

 
At 8:50 AM , Anonymous Anonymous said...

If the comments are so much better on Max Tucker or BlaggBlogg why don't you go read those and leave us alone.

Oh, and nobody thinks your writing is aweful. That would suggest we are in awe of your skills. The word is awful. There's no e in it. You spelled feud wrong too, but I wasn't even looking for that.

 
At 8:56 AM , Anonymous Anonymous said...

Hey Secret, I'm behind you 100 percent . I've read since the beginning and will continue to.

Keep writing this awesome stuff, don't let prepubescent scum drive you away from writing.

 
At 9:44 AM , Anonymous Anonymous said...

When you started a blog that allows public comment, did you actually belive that all the comments would be positive?

If you can't develop a thicker skin for that sort of thing you may want to hang it up.

 
At 9:57 AM , Anonymous Anonymous said...

Dude, you went to Waiterrant and begged him for a link, which he generously gave you and then later took back when it became obvious that you weren't up to keeping your end of the bargain.

In the meantime, you've drawn readers from his high traffic site who've come over to check you out. You would never have that kind of traffic on your own, but with it comes certain obligations.

You post sporadically, the entries are sloppy and often cliched, and you can't spell. And you're surprised that people take swipes at you and put you down? It really might be time to "hang it up".

And no, I'm not going to sign in with my Blogger identity. I don't want you coming by. I built my own following by my own work, not by asking some successful person to give me a plug.

 
At 10:33 AM , Anonymous Anonymous said...

I read both Waiterrant and this blog. I enjoy them both. One is not better than the other, they are different. I notice that these people who are commenting in a negative manner don't have the guts to make their comments public, they are all anonymous. If you really have something to say that is constructive or meaningful, be proud to put your name on it. The fake emails crack me up. If you are worried about retalition, then what you are writing is most likely not something you should be proud of publishing. This blog is written for our entertainment. Server DOES NOT have to feel obligated to entertain us and to compare him to Waiter is obsurd. They are different people, different blogs, different areas and have their own thoughts and viewpoints on life. Maybe some of you like Waiter better, maybe some like Server better, we all have our opinions. All of you who have nothing better to do than trash blogs with negative, rude comments should need to get a life. Get a hobby, play with yourself, whatever it is that your little brain needs to do to feel like a big shot. And if you really have a comment, either postive or negative, and want to express it, be a MAN (or Woman!) and list your name.

OH and one last comment to Anonymous who said: "And no, I'm not going to sign in with my Blogger identity. I don't want you coming by. I built my own following by my own work, not by asking some successful person to give me a plug." Since when is that a problem. Ever hear of networking and advertising. Uhhhh Duhhhh. Do you think that any successful company would be where they are without networking. What Server did was network. Pretty dang smart if you ask me. Networking has MADE ME successful! And if my spelling is off, I havent finished my first cup of coffee, SO DEAL WITH IT!

 
At 10:42 AM , Anonymous Anonymous said...

If it makes you feel any better, Waiter is a douche too, but at least he can write.

 
At 1:16 PM , Anonymous Anonymous said...

When did everyone become such a frickin' critic? Different folks have different writing styles, plain and simple. I read both you and Waiterrant and am happy when a new posting appears. And who set the rules for blogging? Are you obligated to update a certain pace? I kinda thought this was for the writer's enjoyment too. I'll finish with this, If you want writing on demand, pony up the greenbacks. And.........don't forget to tip.

 
At 1:42 PM , Anonymous Anonymous said...

Nephew Dude:

I, too, wish to respond to your most recent posting, "Haters."

I'm responding as your uncle who saw you most often in your infancy and childhood, who hadn't seen you in more than three years when your mom, my sister, first told me about your blog last fall (I didn't even know what a blog was!). As your uncle who knew and loved three of your four great-grandparents on your father's side whom you never got to know. You're just a few years older than I was when you were born, but by then I'd already been a waiter.

I'm also responding as a published author who's been both 5-starred and bashed on Amazon.com reviews of my writing.

OK, here goes.

I stand by what I said to you, here on previous postings, and my words to you in person last Thanksgiving. You can write. I said to your mom after I first read your initial bloggings: "The dude can write!"* That's when I decided to refer to you as "Nephew Dude" on my first posting, especially once I understood I was supposed to keep your identity private. But even when I see you in person you're probably going to be "Nephew Dude" for the rest of our lives.

Sometimes what you blog makes me laugh. You can be pretty fucking funny with your turn of phrase and with the images your words conjure up. Other times I get pissed off by the horrid behavior of some of your customers who show no class and decency at all. And sometimes I absolutely seethe at the anonymous, chicken shit pot-shot postings you get in response. Some of those who sign themselves as other than anonymous are nevertheless incredibly small persons.

As I've become more aware of "blog culture" I frankly wonder why you just don't delete postings by offensive turds who mock your writing and your spelling (I realize it's late and you're tired when you blog), or who are just plain disrespectful to you. [CAN you just delete them? I don't know how it works on your end.]

You also have to remember that there are plenty of unstable, emotionally sick people out there who will be mean and nasty to you, who you can't screen out ahead of time, and who clearly miss the point of your blog site in the first place. Which is why I have absolutely refused to answer on your blog space their criticisms of my postings. I'm posting based on what you write, on my experiences as a waiter (approx. 4 years), and on my knowing you as I do---not on what some socially retarded, otherwise isolated and maladjusted person writes as a potshot at me.

I read you at my place of work. I don't have any of this computer- and online-access-stuff at home. Which means I take time out of my extremely busy workday to check out your latest blogging. I have not checked out related blogs because of time constraints. I wouldn't give you the time of day if it was a waste of my own time, blood relative or no. You know me well enough to know that!

"Don't let those bastards get you down."

Delete the impaired persons' postings if you can.

Keep up the good work.

Love,

Uncle R.

*just like your first cousin on your father's side

 
At 3:18 PM , Anonymous Anonymous said...

keep going, don't let the trolls under the bridge stop your fantastic work.

 
At 3:50 PM , Anonymous Anonymous said...

Huh. I can understand how comparisons can make you angry, and it's not fair to criticize you for not being waiterrant. But are all the critiques really that? Or is that an easier way to read them?

Anonymous digs are cheap, but come on now, how is an avatar any more real? It gives a name, but not everyone has a blog.

But good for you; you do have one where you share your frustration with waiting tables. I hear you-- the service industry is one of those fields where you can't work out your frustrations on the job so ranting is a necessity.

The other thing that puzzles me though is your anger at dissent and your request that all those who have criticisms go away. Actually, it's silly to say it puzzles me. I understand the impulse-- who likes criticism? Still, everytime someone freaks out at a dissenter, telling them to love the blog or leave it, I keep hearing the American jingoist sensibilities that get tossed around with such readiness. Insane Waiter: Love it or Leave it.

 
At 4:17 PM , Anonymous Anonymous said...

Hi,
I read your blog frequently and think it is very interesting and entertaining. I started to read your blog via Waiterrant I think, but anyways, I love your blog and I also read religiously Waiterrant.
Honestly, it is possible that people who come here and compare don t get who you are and the way you do your work...and I think your way to write things is great so keep on the good blog...if people leave feedbacks, it must mean they still have an interest in doing so, otherwise they wouldn t even come here...:)

take care

 
At 6:09 PM , Anonymous Anonymous said...

1. You can't please everyone.

2. Accept fact one and don't post anything referring to people who are displeased. It just fans the flames and makes them realize the effect they've had on you.

3. Keep doing what you want.

Understand these three facts and you'll do a lot better with both your blog and your life.

BTW: I used to be a server too during senior year (high school)and I enjoy your stories. I'm only 19 and I'm at Princeton University right now majoring in Economics. The facts I've posted got me where I am today so good luck and keep up the stories!

 
At 7:43 PM , Anonymous Anonymous said...

This post reeks of hypocrisy.

The blog owner uses "Insane Waiter" as a nom de plume and "secret" as pseudonym and that's ok. Yet if a commenter uses the (freely proffered) generic pseudonym "anonymous", their words somehow carry less weight.

A classic case of "Do as I say, not as I do."

You would be better served (hah!) by attacking your critics' words and ideas directly.

 
At 10:17 PM , Anonymous Anonymous said...

Hey Insane, sounds like you had a tough day.

I found you from waiterrant. I like your stories. Unfortunately your stories are littered with spelling errors and sometimes grammatical problems. Sorry, but this means I don't always read your blog.

 
At 10:40 PM , Anonymous Anonymous said...

I have never commented before because I am not much for writing but I wanted to say I love your blog. I love waiterrants blog too. Your both great!

I don't know why people feel they have to make negative comments. If they don't like your blog they can read something else. There is no need to be rude. After all you are providing a service to those of us who like to read blogs.

I for one look forward to reading your blog and check it every day.

 
At 12:03 AM , Anonymous Anonymous said...

Fuck the Haters, delete them or ignore them.
I only read thru these comments to be sure you got encouragement from some of us. I read waiterrant, and you, and others, daily.
Like everyone, I occasionally typo a word that I know damn well how to spell, and if I don't have time to proofread something it may have a glitch in the grammar too.

My only complaint? More posts please!! (Even with typos or grammar issues ... lol)

Barb

PS - we post anonymously to avoid spammers, those of us who post rarely (but positively) or to express a *real* opinion (as opposed to trolls who just like to stir up shit).

 
At 2:19 AM , Anonymous Anonymous said...

I agree with the others. I read this blog and Waiterrant daily. You both have very different writing styles, both with their own merits and disadvantages. Sometimes I think Waiter is cheesy, and I like your tell-it-like-it-is style.

I don't understand why people would post a comment just to tell you that you suck.

 
At 9:22 AM , Anonymous Anonymous said...

Nobody is comparing you to Waiterrant. You're the one who wants to be him. They say that imitation is the sincerest form of flattery, but it makes for weak reading.

I'll tell you why I read your blog. I just want to see how many weeks can go by without you're having a new idea worth writing down, or the new idea not worth writing down that gets written down anyway. Time moves slowly in Des Moines.

After that, I hit your link to Waiterrant.

Waiter gets his ahare of well earned negative comments between all the fawning remarks of the women who want to screw him, but he shrugs them off. But then, you aren't Waiter. We knew that.

 
At 2:25 PM , Anonymous Anonymous said...

Long weekend, I tried to publish this twice under this topic, both attempts under the wrong thread. I'm a little loopy, please forgive me.

You know what the big problem is? Insane is honest. I've been in this business longer than I would like to admit, his tales and experiences are spot on in relation to what servers of America are dealing with on a daily basis. I have been in his slip proof "shoes for crews" and I can relate to his stories a hell of alot more than "Fluvio's antics and tom foolery" page after page.

It's pathetic that some have to antagonize Insane and other commentors to make themselves feel superior. It's as if hiding behind a computer screen allows them to put down others for their own shortcomings. Seriously folks, get some help that's not a healthy way to express your insecurities. There are many positive ways to get attention. Seriously, get a life.

 
At 8:37 PM , Anonymous Anonymous said...

Quoting from many other comments from those who have already expressed my thoughts:

> you write in a competely different style than the Waiter, and you write about different things. Thats why I have you both bookmarked.

> I read both Waiterrant and this blog. I enjoy them both. One is not better than the other, they are different.

> Fuck the Haters, delete them or ignore them.

I first found you from the WaiterRant link, and after it was deleted, I Googled to find you again. Good job.

 
At 11:25 PM , Anonymous Anonymous said...

I didn't find you through waiterant...you can thank www.dmjuice.com! I looked at waiterrant once and I haven't been back since (due to your link).

To the moron who said time passes slowly in Des Moines...last time I checked...time passes at the same pace across the world. Stupid idiot. Des Moines is kickass (it's what you make of a place)...maybe you should visit.

 
At 8:37 AM , Anonymous Anonymous said...

Hmmmm, looks like the Juice didn't pick you up for their blogroll, or did they drop you like a hot potato as Waiter did?

Your sister was nice to plug your blog but from the comments following her remarks it looks like you've found your share of haters in your own hometown. I can't believe her blog is worse than yours.

 
At 12:41 PM , Anonymous Anonymous said...

For some reason, my last post did not go through. What's up w/that? ANYway, I just wanted to say that I do enjoy your posts, Waiter. You crack me up constantly so keep up the good work and don't let these a-holes bring you down. Just ignore them and do not respond to them and they will eventually go away. Believe it. KEEP ON TRUCKIN!!!!

 
At 2:35 PM , Anonymous Anonymous said...

Take consolation in knowing that while you're out waiting tables (so that you can give us entertaining stories) These trolls are probably sitting at home on the internet; chatting up other trolls, thinking they're 19 year old girls, with one hand on the keyboard the other in...unmentionable places.

They are bitter, bitter people and probably don't even dine in restaurants because their only friends are at the other side of a computer screen. Sad, really...very sad.

Love your blog and will support you until you crack and take down half a restaurant full of patrons. We can only hope that they allow you internet access in prison so we can all follow your new "Insane Prisoner" blog.

 
At 12:31 AM , Blogger MissJester said...

Insane, I like your posts. I like your journal. No, you're not Waiter Rant. That would be boring. Unfortunately, people are entitled to their opinions even if we don't like those opinions and think that they're assholes. That's just the way the world is. I know you won't stop blogging, and as long as you're blogging, I'll be reading.

 
At 9:09 AM , Anonymous Anonymous said...

there is criticism and then there is criticism. some legitimate comments from longtime readers could be warranted. those who have been following your stories and 'watching' your growth as a writer might have some constructive things to say.

however if the best one can do is to complain that this blog isn't just like another blog, it's just kind of sad. If the critical comments fall under the 'you suck' heading, then it's kind of pathetic.

i was a waitron for many years before becoming a professional with a 'real' job. Waiting tables is often a very angry experience because customers who have no power in their lives often choose to channel their powerlessness into jerking around someone they perceive as even more powerless than themsleves--i.e. the waitron.

There are also those who refuse to acknowledge the skills one gains as a waitron. I can give presentations at the drop of a hat; i'm used to speaking to large groups thanks to waiting on large parties. Running a station sucessfully is truly a short course in critical path management. People who have never been in the business have no clue about the abuse and the learning that comes with the job.

Listen to those who care for you and ignore the rest. i don't think you should delete the trolls. their comments identify them as rather sad little people. You can see that. We readers can see that. And maybe someday your trolls will see how plainly their disaffection and unhappiness with themselves is apparent in what they write.

regards
nadine

 
At 11:36 AM , Anonymous Anonymous said...

I like your blog. I check it out each day looking for a new post. I don't care that you spell things incorrectly - I get what you are trying to say. Keep up the good work and don't stop blogging.

 
At 6:26 PM , Anonymous Anonymous said...

The real reason Insane will never get a book deal is because he won't spell check -or- give his grammar the once-over. The net is full of blogs that post by the seat of their pants. No sane person wants to sift through yet another weblog that has good material, yet is so hideously fractured that it practically needs a translation manual.

That is one of the reasons he gets compared unfavorably to waiterrant. Waiterrant has the occaisional typo, but is for the most part sound. Insane comes across as broken and dysfunctional, thereby masking the content that can be truly engrossing.

 
At 7:23 PM , Anonymous Anonymous said...

INSNANE PEEPUL NO TIPE GOOD - NOW ME GO YELLL AT SUMONE AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!

 
At 11:43 PM , Anonymous Anonymous said...

Maybe there would be fewer comparisons to that other waiting blog if the header didn't say "...insired by such intrepid bloggers as waiterrant...". D'uh?

And I'd argue with anonymous' analysis that Secret won't get a book deal because of faulty spelling and poor grammar. The problem is that the material just isn't there. If this guy had any talent he'd be burying us in stories. A good writer can pull a story out of any innocuous encounter, but Secret goes a week between posts and comes up with nothing. It's not even good filler.

Meanwhile, Waiterrant ran some post apologizing about running ads, only the ads wouldn't have been noticed by most people if he didn't point them out. He gets enough traffic, he's entitled, but it's clear that he's not interested in blogging because he likes to write. He has bigger ambitions and they don't involve waiting tables. Like most waitstaff, he's only doing it to pay the bills until his big break comes along. God help us all if that happens.

Over at Club Life, Rob has a book deal and his blog has sucked mightily since before he announced the contract. He's stopped writing about putting spiky-haired guidos into choke holds, the only reason anybody read his stories in the first place, and he's gone off on some tangent about being a professional writer. Truth is, his book will suck, nobody will buy it, and Harper Collins will end up shredding the run.

Also today, the other mega-blogger, Opinionistas, announced that she has quit her job and is going public with her real name and picture and she'll be doing the media circuit as herself. I'd like to know what she's been smoking. Unless she has some new money making scheme we don't know about she'll be on the welfare rolls before I hit the publish button.

 
At 4:59 PM , Anonymous Anonymous said...

"..but Secret goes a week between posts and comes up with nothing. It's not even good filler."

And yet you still keep coming back...curious.

 
At 9:13 AM , Anonymous Anonymous said...

"Waiting tables is often a very angry experience because customers who have no power in their lives often choose to channel their powerlessness into jerking around someone they perceive as even more powerless than themsleves--i.e. the waitron."

Let me fix this:
EATING AT RESTAURANTS is often a very angry experience because WAITERS who have no power in their lives often choose to channel their powerlessness into jerking around someone they perceive as SUPERIOR TO themselves-- i.e., the customer

There, all better

 
At 11:27 AM , Anonymous Anonymous said...

The only customers a server jerks around are the ones he/she knows aren't going to tip.

michael c, I have a big smile on my face right now imagining how much spit, snot, piss, shit, cum, and who knows what else you have unwittingly consumed in your lifetime.

All better?

 
At 1:52 PM , Anonymous Anonymous said...

anal fluids?

 
At 3:23 PM , Blogger Segue said...

"Dude, you went to Waiterrant and begged him for a link, which he generously gave you and then later took back when it became obvious that you weren't up to keeping your end of the bargain."

Don't pretend like you know Waiterrant's intentions, you nerd. That's not why he removed the link to this blog... And I know because I e-mailed Waiter and asked him about it myself.

"And no, I'm not going to sign in with my Blogger identity. I don't want you coming by. I built my own following by my own work, not by asking some successful person to give me a plug."

Well, first of all, I call Bullshit on your so-called "following". This whole little paragraph is not one that would come from the mind of anyone who has a well-written blog with a "following". Why would you not want Insane Waiter coming by your blog? Maybe because it isn't worth reading?

Your reasons for not revealing your blog-identity are quite transparent: You likely have a lame blog that no one reads except the other five people in your circle-jerk little blog ring of internet pals. And you talk shit in Insane Waiter's comments, because that's the only way anyone will read what you've written online.

AND THEN YOU COME BACK TO THE BLOG OVER AND OVER TO SEE WHAT PEOPLE SAID ABOUT YOUR COMMENTS.

Don't deny it, you know you do it.

-Segue... UNanonymously.

 
At 8:04 PM , Anonymous Anonymous said...

badmanager, i hope you wash that filthy mouth out with listerine before you felch your dad. with all the people that are going in and out of his backdoor, you could wind up making him a disease vector for the whole neighborhood if you're not careful.

now go back to serving something to your superiors.

xoxox

 
At 11:29 PM , Anonymous Anonymous said...

michael c, I'm sorry my language offended you, but you really need to get over your obsession with me, and you too anonymous - you girls will have to look for a threesome elsewhere.

 
At 4:34 PM , Anonymous Anonymous said...

ifsmanager... has a nice ring to it.

 
At 5:07 PM , Anonymous Anonymous said...

I never claimed to be smart, or a good manager. That's why I got busted back down to waiter. Actually, Incredibly Fucked-Up Manager would be more accurate. I used to just love when I had to cut people off, meanwhile I was way more intoxicated than they were. Cocaine allows you to drink huge quantities of alcohol. And I had the keys to the liquor room, as well as the safe combination. That was all a long time ago, but I still miss it sometimes.

 
At 12:16 AM , Anonymous Anonymous said...

hmmm. well. i like the place you've got here. sometimes i come to read before i go to work, just so i know i'm not alone in this insanity.

 

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