The Insane Waiter

Running wild on customers, chefs, owners and managers since 1997. I bring to you, The Insane Waiter. What do bring to your table? A crisp bottle of San Pellegrino ? Perhaps a lovely seared Sashimi Tuna? Start off with a wonderful bottle from Tuscany perhaps? Why I'll be more than happy to bring you your White Zinfandel and Chicken Caesar. No you can't order the mac and cheese off the kids menu and sorry no, we don't serve cheese sticks....

Friday, January 06, 2006

Asinine Question of the day

"Folks, would you carer for any soup or salad before your entrees tonight? I asked.

"What's a Supersalad? Is the reply.

34 Comments:

At 3:30 PM , Anonymous Anonymous said...

When I was in high school, my speech team would go on overnight trips. Every year, we would go to Olive Garden. When they would ask "Soup or salad?" (which they always do) we would just say "Yes." Each one of us. Endless hilarity.

 
At 4:01 PM , Blogger Tink said...

Stumbled across your blog and haven't been able to quit reading. Holy shit. How can you make me laugh so hard AND feel sorry for you at the same time?!

 
At 6:37 PM , Blogger Heather said...

Oh. My. GAWD. I have heard that a handful of times.

Last week, I asked one of my tables if I could get them anything else. They said, "OK."

And they were SERIOUS, unlike homeboy from the Olive Garden up above. LOL

 
At 9:41 AM , Anonymous Anonymous said...

This blog is amazing. How do you find the time to write down all of this?

 
At 1:34 PM , Anonymous Anonymous said...

Actually, it sounds to me like Mr. Waiter needs to learn to ennunciate, and not blame his customers for his shortcomings.

 
At 3:28 PM , Anonymous Anonymous said...

Actually, it seems to me anonymous above needs to learn how to spell.

 
At 8:40 PM , Anonymous Anonymous said...

Actually, the comments here aren't as good as the ones at waitrrant.

 
At 8:45 PM , Anonymous Anonymous said...

Actually, the website is Waiterrant.net. No need to compare comments - this isn't a size contest.

 
At 2:18 AM , Anonymous Eustacia Vye said...

Yup, I've gotten that one all the time...

I've trained myself to say "Would you like a bowl of soup or a side salad with that?"

Most of the customers are only half-listening, anyway.

 
At 10:43 AM , Anonymous Anonymous said...

Thank God I'm not the only one who that's happened to. I get that at least once a week -- probably once a shift if I thought hard enough. I thought it was me with a huge speech impediment....thank God it's not me!
Take care
xo
A.

 
At 6:06 PM , Anonymous Anonymous said...

salad or soup - easy.

 
At 10:22 PM , Anonymous Anonymous said...

"Actually, it sounds to me like Mr. Waiter needs to learn to ennunciate, and not blame his customers for his shortcomings."

Actually you're a jackass

 
At 10:35 PM , Anonymous Anonymous said...

Nephew Dude:

Has a customer ever said to you, when ordering their entree:

"I'll have the Sheep Herder's Special. A leg of lamb and a piece of you."

Love,

Uncle R.

 
At 12:19 PM , Anonymous Anonymous said...

i used to be a server and i had to ask that same question and got the same reply. do you work for a chain restaurant? I did and it blew. :)

 
At 12:33 PM , Blogger Sondra said...

HAHAHAHAHAHA!! Insane! That was a funny one. Thank God I've never responded with that one.

 
At 3:28 PM , Anonymous badmanager said...

"Supersalad!"

HAHAHAHAHAHAHA that is so funny!

"Supersalad!"

HAHAHAHAHA I can't believe how funny that is!

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

"Suuuuupersalad"

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!

Oh my god that is insane!!!!

HAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!

 
At 10:45 PM , Blogger Sondra said...

badmanager, what's your fucking problem? Sheesh

 
At 10:48 PM , Anonymous Anonymous said...

A salad once in a while wouldn't kill Sondra.

 
At 3:28 AM , Anonymous Anonymous said...

It's pathetic how some people try to spread their misery. Did that make you feel better?

 
At 3:34 AM , Anonymous pokervixxen said...

It's even better when they request "grond pepper"!

 
At 11:09 AM , Anonymous badmanager said...

Just bored - is this blog officially dead yet?

 
At 12:54 PM , Blogger Nytro said...

actually... there is such thing as a SouperSalad restaurant. it sucks.

 
At 12:59 PM , Blogger Sondra said...

Anonymous, be brave and post your name..are you scared of retribution for the mean things you say on here or something? At least I say what I want and I don't give a damn. Sheesh. Unnecessary meanness really pisses me off.

 
At 1:30 PM , Blogger Segue said...

Okay, servers share half the blame for this one.

What they USUALLY say is:

"Would you like the soup or salad?"

And they say it very quickly.

The concept of a "super salad" is not that strange on the same planet as the fucking "frappucino".

Why don't you say "salad or soup" instead? I've been confused by the question before, and I can tell you that I did not feel nearly as stupid as my server sounded reflexively rattling off the option.

 
At 1:42 PM , Anonymous Anonymous said...

Sondra did you eat the Insane Waiter? Damn! I knew that would happen eventually...oh and my name really is anonymous.

 
At 8:41 PM , Anonymous Anonymous said...

Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

 
At 11:12 AM , Anonymous Anonymous said...

Does Insane have a book deal yet? Rob from Club Life got a contract with Harper Collins. You'd think any writer half as prolific as this guy would have one in the bag.

 
At 3:36 PM , Anonymous badmanager said...

Dear Sondra,

You are hot - I think I'm getting wood.

Sheesh!

 
At 6:14 PM , Anonymous badmanager said...

I got so bored waiting for a new Insane post that I read through Sondra's entire blog - you are definitely an interesting person. So Sondra I apologize for any nasty comments I've made, and maybe I will leave a comment over at your place sometime.

 
At 10:28 PM , Anonymous Anonymous said...

It's very good reading actually. Keep writing!

 
At 1:53 PM , Blogger Sondra said...

Thanks, bad manager. All is well :)

 
At 5:28 PM , Anonymous Anonymous said...

"You'd think any writer half as prolific as this guy would have one in the bag."

Quantity does not equate to quality.

 
At 7:55 AM , Anonymous Anonymous said...

It's called sarcasm. Look it up on Google.

 
At 3:59 PM , Blogger Server Girl said...

I had an elderly gentleman respond the same way one time. However, he was hard of hearing so it took his wife and I a couple of minutes to explain that I said "soup OR salad".

 

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