A Humanitarian

"Sir, how are you doing tonight?"

He glances up from his book,"House Cabernet."

Off to a good start already, love one tops...

I retreat to the bar for his wine.

Upon returning I say,"Here you are sir, would you care for an appeti..."

"I want a salad with ranch and I want a filet medium with a baked potato, noooo bacon."

Hmmm,"Sir our salads come with out house dressing which is a wonderful basalmi...."

"I said ranch."

We don't even have ranch, except for ranch dip for kids chicken strips.

Fuck it, I run in back and mix a side of ranch with some half and half.
Upon delivering his salad he slides his cabernet toward me.

"This is terrible, I can't believe you served me this."

Shit, he ordered house, what did he expect, a fine mertage?

"I'm sorry sir, perhaps a glass of Liberty School?"

He snorts at me.

I guess that's a yes.

I return, he hasn't touched his salad, too involved in his book.

"Here you go sir."

I am greeted with one finger held up to ensure silence.

Fine then.

Another ten minutes pass, I'm waiting on a delightful family with a funny little girl, she says please and thank you for everything, with a smile on her face.

Its so hard to say please, isn't it?

Its not like you're begging, just a part of a simple request, something I never fail to add to a request, to anyone.

Then again, I was raised with manners.

But I digress, the gentleman's filet is done.

I wander up to his table and set it down.

If looks could kill I'd be having a Q&A session with Jesus about now.

"Here you go sir, is there anything else you..."

"What's your problem with me?" He asks.

"Um, come again?"

"Why are you treating me like this?"

I fidget uncomfortably,"I don't know what you mean sir."

"Do you not want my business, am I not good enough to eat here?

"Do you want me to leave? All you seem to do is try to rush me out the door, I've never been treated like this before."

I start to stammer a response when he continues.

"I'm not finished with my salad!!! What makes you think that you can bring me my dinner?"

This time I manage a respone,"Because it was done?"

"I'm trying to enjoy my book here, this is just ridiculous, I can't believe you would treat me like this!!!?

I turn around and walk away as he continues, I'm shaking, I want to flip his table over.

I calm down, have an Arnold Palmer (with a shot of Stoli) and return.

"Sir is everything ok?" I ask.

I'm greeted with the same dirty look.

"Of course not!!!"

He launches into the same tirade.

"I don't understand why you treat customers like this here, this is terrible!"

"What's you problem with me anyways?" he continues.

"Sir I assure you I have no problem." I say.

"You won't even let me eat my salad!

"I don't even understand why someone like you has a job here, you're the most incompetent waiter I've ever had! Probably why you're only a waiter in the first place!"

I ready to punch him, my knuckles are white as my hand clamp down on the table.

"You don't know the first thing about me." I say.

As he continues on I simply walk away.

I ring up his check.

As I walk to his table I notice the anxious looks on my other customer's faces. The cute little girl is silent.

They've heard the whole thing.

I slam his check presenter on the table with all my might.

He wants to sign it to his room at the hotel.

I print up the receipt and without a word drop it back down.

I'm at the bar when he leaves for his room.

He stops by, "Your manager will hear about this!"

Fuck 'em.

I've already told him, he doesn't care.

I pick up his receipt.

Written on it is, "Reflection of service, $.23"

On the way back I pick up the family's check.

The mom asks, "I don't know how you can do it."

I don't know either.

They leave extra, thank you.

At the end of the night I get an envelope and put twenty three cents in it.

I walk up to his room.

And slide it under the door.

On it is written, "Reflection of Your Worth."

I never hear about it again.