Murphy's Law Top 10

From Wikipedia:

Murphy's law (also known as Finagle's law or Sod's law) is a popular adage in Western culture, which broadly states that things will go wrong in any given situation. "If there's more than one way to do a job, and one of those ways will result in disaster, then somebody will do it that way." It is most commonly formulated as "Anything that can go wrong will go wrong." In American culture the law was named after Major Edward A. Murphy, Jr., a development engineer working for a brief time on rocket sled experiments done by the United States Air Force in 1949.

Very easily applicable to the wait service industry.

So here's your Top 10 of the day.

10. You will be sat a highly irritating table and be immediately cut from the floor afterwards.

9. Your 20 top that you've been bragging to your friends about will only order appetizers and drinks, when offered dinner they will say something like,"Oops, I filled up on that free bread," or "oh, we only wanted drinks," its a restaurant folks, not a sports bar.

8. The same 20 top will have only 12 guests arrive and they will spread out over the entire table ensuring that your dream section will never be fully sat, thus costing you at least two table turns of customers.

7. The host will either seat you four tables at once, or not seat you at all.

6. The first round of tables will only order salads and leave you 10% on their ridiculously small dinner bill.

5. All tables that include children will try to have their spawn order for themselves or say please and thank you, even at the age of three, you will then sit there for five minutes trying to decipher baby talk.

4. If you turn down any request for any reason the customer response will be,"well they did it for us last time."

3. If you forget to auto-grat a large group you will immediately receive a 10% total tip, even if the bill is $500+.

2. On a slow night, when you haven't had a new table in over an hour and a half, one will show up ten minutes after close, at which point you will be forced at gunpoint by the manager to wait on them.

1. Said table, despite their easy order, will hang out for at least an hour and a half, even though the restaurant is closed, when leaving they will take both copies of their credit card ensuring no tip.