Effin Hippies

Seriously, we have a deluge of new employees and about half of them are hippies.

They are slow and ignorant, they feel that since they are hippies that they are entitled to this laid back lazy brand of working, they even speak lazily as to show how laid back and cool they are.

They aren't cool.

They take years at the computer and have no sense of urgency when it comes to their jobs, thus causing longer waits for us "square" types.

They don't take any sort of direction well from the senior staff members, head waiters (myself) or management. I think they hate working for the man and expect everyone else to do their jobs for them

The other day I asked the hippie on the linens side work to make sure the hamper was lined with a bag so linens wouldn't pile up on the floor.

"Don't worry about it man," was all she could say.

Well during the middle of the rush I came thought the kitchen and another, more responsible, server picking up linens that had been piled up on the floor, blocking traffic and creating a safety hazard.

Looking down on the floor I said, "This is what happens when you leave a hippie in charge of something, shit all over the floor, its a good thing they don't run the world or we'd all be fucked."

When confronted the hippie said something like, “I’m too stoned and laid back to work.”

I responded with a ,”Do you fucking job, we’re not here to clean up after you!”

Later in the shift hippie girl wanted to check out with the closing server, myself.

“So what did you do for your side work?” I asked, already knowing the answer.

“Well I took a bag of dirty linens to the basement.” She responded.

I looked over by the dishwasher, sure enough the hamper was filled to the brim.

“You need to take those down also,” I said, pointing out the hamper.

“But I already took a bag down, man!” She said crossly, or as crossly as a hippie can get.

“You have to take all of the linens down, sometimes its one bag, sometimes its three, I don’t care.” I said.

“We also need five bags of linen napkins brought up from storage while your down there.” I said, pointing out another of her duties she neglected.

“Whatever man, this is bullshit, the night shift can take care of it.” She said.

“What’s bullshit is that you’re passing the buck to someone else so you don’t have to do your job.” I responded.

“Whatever,” was all she had to say.

While hippie chick was in the basement I looked over her other side work duties, stock tablecloths?

Not done.

Stock water glasses?

Not done.

It became apparent that she hadn’t done a single item on her list, yet she had the balls to try to check out with me.

She almost cried when she came upstairs and I confronted her on this.
Hippie chick #2 wasn’t much better.

The other day her opening duties were to set up the parties in the restaurant for lunch and straighten the other tables.

There was a party of eighteen, two of twelve and a twenty top.

The Twenty top was in my section.

After I had spent about thirty minutes setting up the kitchen and helping other servers with their work I noticed hippie chick struggling to put my table together. She hadn’t even started on the other parties or straightening the sections.

“Having some trouble I see?” I asked.

She had the tablecloths on upside down and in disarray with each table having cloths of varying length on them.

“Uh, I think I have it dude,” she said.

“I think you don’t, we open in fifteen minutes and you still have three other parties to set up.” I said.

“I’m almost done with this one.” She said, struggling to count the twenty seats (there were only eighteen).

“Not really, you have to tear this apart and completely reset it, the tablecloths need to be straightened and arrayed in diamond shapes so it looks nice, and you don’t have enough seats.” I said.

“Whatever man, I know how to do my job.” She said.

“Apparently not, go worry about you other parties, I’ll set up this one.” I said.

“Why would you even care?” She asked.

“Because this is my party and my tip, I want it to look nice.” I responded.

“Whatever,” she said,

“Yeah, whatever, go blaze up another one smoky.” I said.

Now it may sound like I have an anti-hippie bias, well maybe I do.

They are generally poor tippers, smell like patchouli and have gross hygiene. They are even worse to work with. Now this is a generalization, but they are among the least motivated employees, this may be because they feel they should give their attention to activism such as saving baby seals or global warming or poverty,

Well I have an answer for the last on that list, do your fucking job and show a sense of urgency,

I’m sick of picking up the slack for you and sick of you slowing down us who really want to get shit done.